Women generally always want to know how to attract, win and keep a man. With our intuitive nature as women, we always want to seek and know things regarding relationships. In the process of trying to understand and keep our men, we end up ruining things unintentionally.
In today’s post, we will be exploring turn off for guys. If we can watch out for the following negative behaviors, we will not only have our men for keeps but they will go out of their way to make us happy and our relationships will be worth it.
Things That Turn Guys Off In A Relationship
1. Overthinking And Over-Analyzing
We tend to analyze and brood over our men’s actions too much. We try to read his mind and in the process end up ruining things.
You don’t have to analyze every step he takes or move he makes. Don’t try to figure out his intentions or bug your head about when to make love, how early or late it should come into your relationship, who should call or text first.
Love is hard work as you need to put in your very best and not do it haphazardly, even though it does not have to be burdensome. When you have the opportunity, give it your 100%.
There is nothing attractive about a woman who over analyzes and read meaning into things. Even amid misunderstandings, learn not to think or assume you know the reason your man behaves the way he does, it’s one of the biggest turnoffs for husbands.
2. Being Insecure
Another turnoff for guys is an insecure woman who feels she needs a man to be complete. A woman needs to be whole and go about her business with or without a man in her life, she shouldn’t be completely dependent on a man to find meaning or define her.
Another level of insecurity is seeing your man as a cheat and feeling you have to do something to stop him by either monitoring him or making the home uncomfortable for him. He returns from work late and instead of asking what went wrong, you assume he was with another woman.
You proceed to begin to check his shirt for lipstick stains and his pocket for love notes. Then you ask questions, painting pictures of him cheating on you, snooping around his phone and reading meaning into every contact saved or text message received.
You suspect every female that comes around him or even confront him with false accusations of him being a cheat. This is a huge repellent for men and it’s dangerous because it could push him away from you instead of towards you and he could end up going for other women that are not as good as you are. Every man wants to be trusted and it hurts them more if he’s not a cheat.
Do you find yourself straining to eavesdrop on his conversations either over the phone or when he’s speaking with a friend and you are not called to be part of the discussion? While driving, do you follow his gaze to see who he’s looking at through the side or rear mirror? Are you jealous when a female neighbor greets or engages your man in a brief discussion?
Men are moved by what they see and it’s normal to stray with their sight, if you find yourself getting worked up or you carry out any of the actions I listed above, then it means you have serious insecurity issues. It shows also that the relationship lacks trust.
Some ladies make their men fall out of love with them because they focus on their weaknesses and frailties instead of their strengths. They complain but rarely do something to change things. They complain of being overweight, their hair falling out or their bodies being filled with stretch marks yet they do nothing about it.
It’s funny but true that sometimes our men don’t see these things but because of our low self-esteem, we give ourselves away and we throw our errors right in their faces. Some women complain as if it’s the man that is responsible for her problems. This is very wrong and is one of the things that turn guys off in a relationship.
3. Over Crowding His Personal Space
Men naturally retire to themselves sometimes and just want to be alone. They are analytical and need some time away from the noise of the world to think through and proffer solutions to issues bothering them.
As women, we need to know sometimes that the man would not always want to talk and when he is having a bad time, it’s best to allow him some space to sort himself out. He will ‘definitely’ come out of it a better person and possibly explain why he needed to withdraw.
We need to understand our men and know how to manage them. Else probing them too much or not respecting their need for personal space could be a huge turn off for guys in relationships.
Some women make the mistake of telling their husbands the story of a bad day when he had his share of some trouble at work. It is normal to want to share your burdens but don’t overburden your man. Allow him some time to rest when he returns from work, watch his mood, it will give you cues on how to relate with him and alleviate his mood.
4. Not Paying Attention To Your Looks
Every man wants a woman he can show off. He is attracted by beauty and has on his priority list for his woman to be presentable always even after the kids start rolling in. It’s heartbreaking to see how men long for their wives to remain the beauty queen they married only for the women to turn out looking even older than their mothers.
Some do not pay attention to personal hygiene- they leave the house dirty and unkempt all in the name of taking care of the kids. Others stop dressing the way they used to before they got married because they feel they have won the trophy and do not need to do anything to keep it.
Men love beautiful things, nice smells, cute hairdo, and dressing. Flaunt your figure when you are at home with him, wear bum shorts or anything you feel comfortable in, not tying wrapper or wearing oversized clothes because you are at home. It could be alluring to put on your partner’s clothing boxer or singlets even if it’s oversized. Make efforts to keep being the baby girl he met and fell in love with.
5. Being Overly Dependent On Him
Every man wants a supportive woman who can call the shots in his presence or absence. Being overly dependent on a man is a turn off for guys.Not being able to do your own thing, get a job, live your life and earn.
Some ladies fall in love and in the process lose their senses- they forget their family, friends, career, and even creativity all because there is a man on board. They stop living and begin to live their lives according to the dictates of the man. They lose focus, drive and even the will to be great.
6. Giving Him The Silent Treatment
Most women expect their men to read their minds and know their needs instead of communicating. And when their needs are not met they resort to silence and manipulate them into doing their bidding. It could work for a while but the man will lose touch with you soon.
Voice out when hurt instead of pouting and moping around waiting for him to ask what the matter is severally- you could make your man weary by this action. Some wear long faces which is another turn off for guys. Men love happy women who are radiant and exude positive vibes, not women who wear long faces and are negative.
7. Nagging
Times and seasons change, men go through a lot because of the burden the society has placed on their shoulders- It takes more than muscles to be a man. No man can fulfill a woman’s every need. The best they do most times is trying to lend a helping hand.
Praise him when he tries to meet those needs and encourage him when things don’t add up. Don’t nag him. Even when you feel he should do more for you, make it known to him lovingly. Don’t run him down or compare him to other men. You will hurt his ego and could turn him away from you.
8. Ingratitude
Every man wants to be patted on the back and told they are doing a great job. Take your eyes away from the things your man is yet to do, instead focus on the little things he does wholeheartedly and genuinely for you.
Appreciate him for those things, let him know they didn’t go unnoticed. Call him beautiful names and praise him. An ungrateful woman who rarely says thank you but demands more is a turnoff for guys. It is selfishness to want to have all your needs met at the expense of the other without adding value to your man too.
Men love supportive women who will make the numbers add up for them and not selfish women who are only interested in what is in it for them.
9. Trying To Change Your Man
In the early stages of relationships, we get carried away by being heads over heels in love but as time goes on, we gradually begin to see our partners in their real behaviors. It’s best to ascertain what you can condone early enough so you can decide to either stay or take a walk.
When you choose to stay with your partner, please don’t try to change him. Allow him to be himself. Men detest ladies who try to shake them into their mold. Aggressive and domineering women are a turn off for guys. Men love humble and respectful women.
You can work on his dress sense if you don’t like the way he appears in public- shop for him instead of insisting he must dress in a certain way to please him.
10. Ignoring Him
Some women have the habit of spending long hours on the phone chatting away with their friends. Please, can you save the girls’ talk for when your man is not around? It’s a turnoff for guys as they like attention especially when they are with you.
They expect to have the whole of your attention. They could get jealous too because they feel since they have you at that moment, you should concentrate on them.
Having looked at the turn-offs what are the solutions?
I’d show you how to make your relationship work with the male folk with a few checklists.
- Instead of trying to analyze his every move, why not take it one step at a time? Enjoy every phase of your relationship- Be happy, exude positive vibes. Men are attracted to happy and positive women.
- Don’t try to chase a man, it’s not your job. Let him pursue you, don’t play games to win him, allow things to happen naturally.
- Be confident. Hold your head up high and dare to dream and follow them through.
- Be positive about your relationships- where you notice a red flag, talk it out. Don’t tolerate inappropriate behavior all in the name of love. In the long run, you may get weary and break down due to pressure. Love forgives but is not stupid in taking decisions when there’s a threat to life.
No man is perfect and will never fit into your mold. You will have to let some things be and learn to live with them, overlook minor issues that make you upset and try dialoguing to meet in the middle concerning sensitive issues.
Where you can assist your man, please go ahead and do it lovingly. He will slip and make errors, please don’t come down hard on him and make him feel bad, focus on his strengths and use it to reach out to his failings. Encourage him and bring out the best in him.
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This is the most sexist thing I have EVER read. To whomever wrote this, thanks for trying to put women back 20 years. Girls, wear what you want, express your emotions- BE YOURSELF and if a man truly loves you, he will love all of you.
I agree, this is a very sexist article
I like it, thank you so much