Ever has it been that love knows not its ‘own’ depth until the hour of separation.” -Kahlil Gibran
Most people detest long-distance relationships, some find themselves involved as a result of circumstances beyond their control. In most cases, starting a long-distance relationship isn’t planned as it just happens. Except for those who meet on platforms, it could be where they met, a plan to seek for greener pastures or even to study.
A lot of them regret being in this kind of relationship because of its peculiarity. How difficult it could be to long to communicate face to face or touch the love of your life, yet they are not within close range. How lovely it would be to sleep next to the one you love and engage in physical activities together.
I’ll be sharing tips on how to keep a long-distance relationship that will keep you going because I’ve been there and I know how it feels. I will try to bring a balance to this post but note that the advice applies to both men and women.
Love is a beautiful thing; I understand how much you love your partner, how you long to spend time with each other, how you wish to be cuddled to feel some warmth, eye contact and how you wish to hold your partner’s gaze? Yours may be a marriage relationship and are separated by distance, we will be looking at how to keep a long-distance relationship.
1. Communicate Often
This has nothing to do with how long you spend on the phone but the quality of your conversations. I say this because you can’t spend the whole day on the phone with your partner because your life doesn’t revolve around him or her, but you can keep a long-distance relationship by communicating. It could be talking about each other’s day, learn to ask questions about what’s going on around them.
Greet your partner in the morning and at night, make it a point of duty. To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips, and short videos from time to time.
By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to- make audio and video calls, send daily pictures and selfies where possible.
Take pictures of your favorite work position at work or home and send it to them so when you tell them where you are or what you are doing, the picture of where you are is planted in their memory because they have an idea of where you are.
Another level of communicating is sensual texting. Try it out!
Don’t know what sensual texting is? It’s dirty texting! When he least suspects it, initiate sensual texting, and start with something like “All I want to do right now is to step in the shower with you!”
Sensual texting is a great tool to erotically arouse and seduce your man, it put a visual picture of you in his memory that he looks forward to when you will be together again.
Not being physically intimate most of the time shouldn’t keep you from fantasizing- you could imagine all sorts of things you’d like to do with them, and maybe even talk about it with them.
“I exist in two places, here and where you are.” -Margaret Atwood
2. Work Towards A Physical Meeting With Each Other Once In A While
Depending on the distance, I advise partners not to allow distance between them to last for too long. If where your partner stays is not too far away, plan a once a month visit and if where they are is very far away, once a year meeting won’t be too bad.
Try seeing each other as often as possible- this might be difficult considering your work, routines and other commitments. But you have to prioritize your commitment to your relationship as well. So take out whatever time you can to visit them. It’s a good thing to plan but a little surprise now and then will be welcomed too.
3. Be Unpredictable
Want to know how to maintain a long-distance relationship with your boyfriend- You could set up couch where you watch the same movies, or games or shows.
If you’re both gaming fans, you could play together online. If you’re going someplace new, you could have them on a video call and show them too. Regardless of heavy data usage, when your relationship is a priority, the cost would not matter.
4. Be Generous To Your Partner
Surprise your partner with gifts on their birthdays- Since you are away, pay someone to help you do it. Celebrate beautiful moments with them even with the distance. Listen to their needs while you communicate and see how you can meet them.
5. Learn To Trust Your Partner
Trust is the bedrock of every relationship most importantly for distance relationships. You should be able to vouch for your partner even in your absence.
Don’t get overly jealous by the presence of the opposite gender in their lives. You won’t want to keep them all to you, at least you both have friends and being in love with each other doesn’t mean your other relationships are not necessary. They could help withstand the pressure of loneliness your absence may have caused. Just because they are friends with people from the opposite doesn’t mean you should feel insecure.
6. Have A Routine
As couples, there are fun things you should be doing together even with the distance between you two. You could engage in exercising at the same time and watch each other online, you could also have a particular time you call each other up- let it be more like a ritual for you.
When you live out your long-distance relationship in this light, you’d enjoy bliss and won’t even know they aren’t close by as you will have to carry them in your heart every day. This will help you know what you should do per time. Set activities daily so you can enjoy friendship even from a distance.
7. Have A Large Heart
There will always be misunderstandings but how you handle them matters. Make it a point of duty not to sleep angry at your partner irrespective of what they have done.
Set boundaries on how to respond when offended, don’t hang up when your partner is still speaking. Learn to forgive and move on quickly, don’t hold grudges. This is one of the things you should take note of ‘how to keep a long-distance relationship’.
8. Keep Your Partner Informed
Let your partner know your whereabouts. Make it a point of duty to be open to your partner. Decide to be open to each other no matter how bad things may be. Let them meet your friends via calls also if you are hanging out with friends, be sincere about it. Don’t tell lies.
Talk about your feelings and insecurities. Don’t hoard your feelings. Being in love does not mean you should tolerate the wrong behavior you don’t approve of. Avoid keeping secrets- Remember nothing can be hidden forever, it will come to light someday and this could make your spouse lose trust. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other.
Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. It’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s all too late. This could be a powerful tool against cheating. It helps you know how to keep a long-distance relationship.
9. Set Realistic Relationship Goals
Don’t be a wife to a boyfriend is the title of a book written by Shonda. I use this as an example- Don’t ascribe titles of girlfriend or wife to yourself when your partner has not tagged you, in other words, I mean, define your relationship, it will save you a lot of headaches.
Ask questions like if your relationship is an open one? Can you date others too? Remember that hope deferred makes the heart sick. Be sure you and your partner are headed in the same direction.
10. Be Positive Minded
When you are positive, your energy will be driven in the direction of winning and achieving. Having a negative mindset could drain you of your creativity and make your partner tired too.
Concentrate on the strengths of your spouse, remind yourself that the separation is just for a while and you will be back together again. Set your mind on the future and your plans for a better life.
11. Understand Each Other
Know your partner’s mood! Be able to know what they are up to, try to read in between their conversations. Are they tired, stressed or yawning? Then you know it’s resting time for them. That shouldn’t be when to start talking of things that could trigger a bad reaction from them- This is one of the ways you can keep a long-distance relationship.
12. Support Your Partner
Do you want to know how to keep a long-distance relationship- Listen when your partner speaks and you will pick up cues to know when they need your help. Support them and encourage them, be the go-to person when they need to pour out their hearts, be available for your partner, and motivate them to succeed.
The list above seems so long, don’t be overwhelmed. I can’t end this post without sharing some real-life experiences.
I met my husband in my secondary school days and we were just friends. We began dating when we got into the university. He was a year ahead of me and left school before me. How to communicate after school became our concern- we were determined to make us work and we resolved to stay in touch always.
He came to visit every month while I only visited during my school holidays. We attended functions together, exchanged emails, sent surprise gifts and even went to the studio to take pictures whenever we are together AND guess what? We worked!! We have been married for 12 years now.
That was Cindy’s true-life story of how to keep a long-distance relationship.
I met my wife during my internship at the airport said Eazy. This is another success story of how to keep a long-distance relationship. I met my now wife twelve years ago on an online dating platform called Blackberry messenger. We hit off immediately.
We communicated often and seemed not to get enough of each other. We were so into each other that friends and family noticed even when we had not made our relationship public. We were still testing the waters. Our constant communication turned into a long-distance relationship.
We made sure we kept in touch daily. I lived in London while she lived in Ohio, we scheduled our visits every three months and she came visiting first. After her second visit, I took a work permit to live with her for a year.
After spending the year together, we ended up practicing long-distance relationship for several years, we eventually got married, but before that, we took time off from work to travel all over the world before getting married. We are together now and have two kids.
This is yet another success story of how to keep a long-distance relationship. They made it due to excellent communication and a strong resolve to make sacrifices. This is a vital tool in ‘tending’ relationships.
A relationship is hard work, how much more long-distance relationships? Tend your garden for the grasses are not greener on the other side, it only depends on the level of priority you place on your partner.
I believe in being positive, it worked for others, yours will not be an exception. Long-distance relationships have it’s bad sides too but you can weather the storm and come out stronger if you both work on it.
I believe you have learned a few tips on how to keep a long-distance relationship.
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Hi I just wanted to add that tending to a Long distance relationship can be hard but, as a very wise friend told me, follow your heart. It is seldom wrong. And those words have kept me strong for the duration of my relationship and they still are… Love always wins in the end..