Conversations are channels to getting close, bonding and intimacy and the level of intimacy that exists is also what determines what can be shared. In my years of dealing with relationships and friendships, I’ve found out that it’s not a big deal for men to connect and become friends easily.
I mean they can just meet at the airport and start a conversation about something they heard in the news and that can set the ball rolling for a great combo. But for ladies, we tend to be careful, watch for a while, size the lady up before approaching a fellow lady for a conversation.
It’s generally said that men could share great details about what they read in the newspapers or even from a sporting event while ladies would talk about family, fashion, food, hairdo, accessories, the best places to shop and a whole lot of other range of topics.
Imagine a meeting between a man and a woman in the scenarios painted above? It will take some level of maturity and self-awareness to be able to have a great meeting with their minds and intellect.
Men and women generally seem to be occupied by different things. The reason I feel this post is necessary to make an alliance between members of the opposite gender easier and not feel like some hard work.
Some people are too shy to start up conversations because they feel they won’t make sense or would be laughed at. If that describes you, you are reading the right post.
Sitting across the table with someone for the first time on a date can be a little uneasy as some questions cannot be asked and some conversations cannot be started. There are details about you that shouldn’t be shared too soon.
Let’s assume you are in the “butterflies in the belly” stage of your relationship and it could be tempting to want to tread with caution and not lose your new-found mate, so, you would try to either go silent or pretend to say what you don’t even mean to say (I bet you can relate to this).
So what conversation starters for couples can you try out in this stage? And how can you make meaningful dialogues?
- Do a lot of reflection and takedown questions you will like to ask your mate.
- You may not necessarily hold your journal while you discuss with them but bear in mind that in the course of your question and answer sessions, there will be a lot of exchange of information, the release of affections and also an exposition of your personalities will come forth. The more you internalize them, the more you will remember what to ask.
- Situations, moods, and environment could be determining factors of the kind of questions to ask.
Remember that the aim of these conversations is to communicate and is also not for knowledge sake only but to build intimacy. If care isn’t taken, the need to be accepted by our mate may affect the level of information we give out about yourself.
You need to be free to share who you are regardless of if they will accept you or not. If they do, it’s fine but if they don’t, then let them walk.
I remember in my dating years I used to have a hardcover note where I wrote a list of qualities I wanted in a mate and also a few conversation starters for couples(in fact I still have that journal to date). And I must say it helped me a great deal.
It’s not enough for your mate to respond to your questions and you responding to theirs. I see couples who even do it as a game, they alternate days where they take turns to be in charge of dishing out questions for the day but it’s all about how your mate says what they say.
After the dialogue, does whatever they have said match with what they do? Do they follow through on what they say? Does their actual lifestyle differ from what they say? Looking at it from another angle, there are sides you may never discover just by being told but by watching their actions.
It’s not easy for someone to hand themselves over to you saying “this is me”. In most cases, you will discover other details as you get familiar. Little wonder most couples get married and are met with surprises.
Conversation Starter To Know Yourself Better
Before I share some handpicked conversations for couples madly in love, please, note that you will notice that these conversation starters for couples are for different situations. Some should come at the beginning of your relationship while some should come later, study them to know which to use for a particular occasion and some will give you access to deep emotional responses.
Now To Conversation Starters For Couples
1. What did it feel like falling in love with me?
2. What are your dreams and aspirations?
3. What was your first date like?
4. Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?
5. What irritates you?
6. What are your greatest fears?
7. Who is your best friend?
8. Would you accept living together before marriage?
9. What should we be doing to spice up our relationship?
10. Can you keep a secret?
11. What do you think about getting down before marriage?
12. Is getting intimate important to you?
13. What are your values?
14. How do you express love?
15. How can I tell when you are angry?
16. What struck you about me the first time we met?
17. What would you term to be the most embarrassing moment of your life?
18. Have you suffered a heartbreak?
19. What would you like to be remembered for?
20. Do you have any regrets concerning your past relationships?
21. If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?
22. What’s your ideal way to spend a vacation?
23. What makes you dislike a person?
24. Do you think you are a confident person? Why or why not?
25. What about yourself are you most proud of?
26. What would the best version of you be like?
27. What life experiences did you miss out on?
28. When are you the most “you”?
29. What musical instrument do you wish you could play?
30. What is the nicest compliment you’ve received?
31. What age would you like to live to?
32. When has a mundane occurrence or chance completely changed the course of your life?
33. Are you happy with the people you surround yourself with? Why or why not?
34. If you could travel to any country in the world for one month, where would you go?
35. What is your favorite memory of someone who isn’t in your life anymore?
36. What has been a recurring theme in your life?
37. What are your top 5 rules for life?
38. What book or movie do you wish you could experience for the first time again?
39. What’s the best way for someone to improve themselves?
40. What was the most productive time in your life? How about the least productive?
41. What three words best describe you?
42. How well do you function under a lot of pressure?
43. What are two of the most important events in your life?
44. What’s the most rewarding thing in your daily routine?
45. What’s a question you wish people would ask more often?
46. What is the saddest thing about your life that nobody knows?
47. What are you most sentimental about?
48. Do you think people more people look down on you or up to you? Why?
49. What question do you most want an answer to?
50. What do you look forward to most in the day?
Deep Conversation Starters For Couples
1. What are you grateful for in life?
2. What is the most significant lesson life has taught you?
3. Family, money, friends what is the order of priority for you?
4. How do you think we can keep each other happy for the rest of our lives?
5. What is your biggest adventure in life to date?
6. What are the five things that made you who you are now?
7. Who is your support system?
8. When facing a problem, who is the first person you run to seeking help?
9. What change did you see in yourself after being in a relationship with me?
10. What is your deal breaker in a relationship?
11. If at all we are on the verge of a break-up would you try to get back?
12. When did you feel respected/ disrespected by me?
13. What makes you feel appreciated in our relationship?
14. Do you think you have the freedom to be yourself in our relationship?
15. What made you feel I am the one?
16. What is marriage to you?
17. Do you believe in life-long commitment?
18. What are your future plans with me?
19. What is the best compliment you received from me?
20. What is your opinion on saving money for the future?
21. Do you believe in mindful spending?
22. How good are you at planning finances?
23. Which love story would best describe our relationship?
24. If given a chance, will you choose someone else as your partner?
25. Whom do you like more — your mom or dad?
26. When did you feel happy recently and why?
27. What is the one thing which you would want to change in yourself?
28. Do you find yourself attractive?
29. When deserted on an island what will you miss the most?
30. If all crimes are made legal for a day, which offense are you likely to commit?
31. Given the power to rewind, what is that you will do differently in your life?
32. What is your biggest regret in life?
33. Do you think cheating on your spouse is ok as long as you are not caught?
34. When was the last time you cried? What can I do to make you feel better at such times?
35. What is your perfect way to relax after a stressful day at work?
36. If given a chance would you ever cheat on me?
37. What is your opinion on equality between partners?
38. Do you like to do household chores?
39. Are you willing to support my career once we have kids?
40. Name a bad habit which you got rid of?
41. Name three people whom you value the most in your life?
42. What is your motivation to get up and go to work each day?
43. Did you experience failure in life? If yes, how did you manage to get back on your feet?
44. What is your biggest weakness and how did you overcome it?
45. To whom do you owe your success in life?
46. What are the three things you cannot live without?
47. Do you feel we are spending enough time with each other?
48. What did you aspire to become when you were a child?
49. What are your goals in life?
50. Do you feel it is important to discuss with me before taking a decision?
51. What’s your phobia?
52. Have you ever been depressed? Why?
53. What’s the best time you’ve ever had?
54. What do you consider was the most positive period in your life?
55. Have you ever caught either of your parents in a sticky situation?
56. What do you think your purpose in life is?
57. What’s the biggest waste of time you’ve ever had?
58. Do you believe people should get a second chance?
59. What’s the last thing in the world you would choose to do?
60. Have you ever been guilty of pride?
61. What’s your favorite thing about me?
62. Do you have and favorite physical features?
63. If you could have the answer to any question in the world what would that be?
64. What’s one thing you would never change about me?
65. What’s one thing you would change about me?
66. If you could have any single person brought back to life for one hour, who would it be and what would you want to do or talk about?
67. What’s one quality you always looked for in someone else, that I don’t actually possess?
68. If you could go back in time to 13 year old you, what advice would you give yourself?
69. Would you ever give the shirt off your back to someone who needed one?
70. What is your favorite childhood memory?
71. What are your current top three priorities?
72. Explain your opinion of the phrase “opposites attract.”
73. Should married couples consider their spouse their best friend?
74. What are some things you would consider yourself loyal to?
75. What are some thing that have been bothering you lately?
76. How can I help to take stress away?
77. Do you find political correctness is necessary?
78. If you were to die tomorrow, what is something you would have to do to feel at peace?
79. Do you have any regrets, and if so, what are they?
80. Do you think smart phones have helped people connect with each or grow further apart?
81. What are some problems you feel future generations face?
82. During the holidays, what tradition from your family would you want to pass on to your children?
83. Do you think ’emotional cheating’ is a legitimate concern in a relationship?
84. Have you ever stayed friends with an ex, and how would you feel if I was still friends with mine?
85. What’s your dream job?
86. If you won a million dollars, what are the first 3 things you’d do with the money?
87. What is the first word that comes to mind when you hear the word “marriage”?
88. What would you do if I had to relocate to a different state for work?
89. Have you ever wanted to run your own business? If so, what would it be?
90. What’s worse, a person with a lack of ambition or a person who is obsessed with work?
91. If we were to have kids, what would you want them to get from me and what would you want them to get from you?
92. What is something you’ve always wanted to learn how to do?
93. What is your opinion on giving back to society?
94. If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you will spend the money on?
95. What is the meaning of family to you?
96. Who is your role model in your family?
97. How important is my career to you?
98. Who is it that you look up to in your life and why?
99. What is your best childhood memory?
100. What do you think is the best quality in you?
101. Did you cheat in any of your previous relationships?
102. Do you have any secrets in life that you have kept from me?
103. What is your opinion on transparency between couples?
104. What is being successful in life mean to you?
105. What is your worst fear?
Romantic Conversation Starters For Couples
1. What is the first thing you noticed about me?
2. What was the first thing you found attractive about me?
3. How important is having a romantic life for you?
4. What would you do to keep the romance alive in our relationship?
5. Which physical feature in me do you like the best?
6. What is the wildest adventure you had till now?
7. Do you believe in unconditional love?
8. What is your idea of a romantic getaway?
9. What is your definition of an ideal date night?
10. When did you have your first kiss and how did you feel about it?
11. Do you believe in love at first sight?
12. What is your most favorite romantic song?
13. Which of these would you prefer — candlelight dinner on the beach or a 6-course meal at a five-star restaurant?
14. Did you ever have a one-night stand?
15. Do you believe in friends with benefits?
16. What are your top 5 favorite romantic movies?
17. What gives you butterflies in your stomach?
18. Which quality in a woman/ man makes her/ him irresistible for you?
19. If asked to describe one best thing about our first date what would you pick?
20. When have you felt most loved by me?
21. What is the most romantic thing anyone has done for you?
22. Name a romantic song which makes you think of me?
23. What is your favorite memory of us?
24. Do you think we have an emotional connection?
25. How do you think your life would be if we never met?
26. Who was your first love and why did you like her/him so much?
27. What do you think is important in a relationship?
28. How well do you know my dreams and aspirations?
29. Who is the hottest movie star in your opinion?
30. When we are apart what is it that you miss the most?
31. What is the difference between romance and love for you?
32. Do you think love is necessary in long-term relationships?
33. What are the moments when you hated me?
34. Do you think we will make good parents?
35. What is your favorite honeymoon destination?
36. What is the best part of being in a relationship? And what is the worst?
37. What makes you the best partner?
Funny Conversation Starters For Couples
1. You have to defend a person’s right to marry inanimate objects – Go!
2. What is your spirit animal and why?
3. During a zombie apocalypse, what are 3 rules you’d abide by to maintain your survival?
4. What is the worst advice ever given to you?
5. What is the worst advice that you’ve taken?
6. If we were to wrestle right now, would you rather it be in mud, jello, or spaghetti?
7. If it started raining meatballs, would you be scared or open your mouth to catch some?
8. If you could movie marathon, what movies would you pick and why?
9. Have you ever tried counting how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
10. If a sign tells you not to do something, do you feel more inclined to do it?
11. What is the funniest observation you’ve ever made while people-watching?
12. If I was a stranger, would you talk to me against your mother’s judgment?
13. Can you do something to make me laugh?
14. What is a strange talent of yours? Can I have a demo?
15. Give me your best pickup line.
16. Give me your cheesiest pickup line.
17. What is the most recent embarrassing thing that has happened to you?
18. You’re at a buffet, what are 3 things on your plate?
19. Same question, but now you’re ‘young’ you. What’s on your plate?
20. Are you more of a chocolate sprinkles or rainbow sprinkles kind of person?
21. What should my clown name be?
22. Are there any conspiracy theories you secretly think are real?
23. Have you ever had a job you truly hated?
24. What would’ve been your dream way of quitting if there were no consequences?
25. If you owned a boat, what would you name it?
26. What is your ideal breakfast? (Calories don’t matter!)
27. What’s the funniest thing to have ever happened to you at work?
28. You’re driving, you look out your side window and see the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen. What did you see?
29. Explain why your favorite dinosaur was the best one to ever live.
30. If you had Dora the Explorer’s backpack, what’s “anything that you might need” in it?
31. We decide to sign up for a couples class. What type of class is it?
32. What is the worst gift you’ve ever gotten for Christmas?
33. If you were any Disney Prince or Princess, who would you be and why?
34. What celebrity would you want to spend the day at an amusement park with?
35. What’s something you do, that you look around first to see if anyone’s watching, before you do?
36. Would you consider yourself a beach person, why or why not?
37. What is a job you would be horrible at?
38. What are 3 things you would consider yourself an expert on?
Flirty Conversation Starters For Couples
1. If our relationship were compared to a movie, what movie would it be?
2. Would you ever be interested in doing a couples’ spa day with me?
3. Describe your ideal date night with me.
4. Have you ever had a dream about me? If so, tell me about it!
5. What is something about me that you find totally irresistible?
6. If I was a new car on the lot, what kind would I be?
7. If I would let you kiss me right now, would you?
8. You’re planning a dream romantic getaway with no care of the cost. Where are we going and what are we going to do there?
9. If I was a baked good, which one would I be? Which one do you think you are?
10. How many times a day do you think about me?
11. Do you like to be the big spoon or the little spoon?
12. What are some of your thoughts about me when we’re not together?
13. What would you change about our intimate life?
14. What’s one fantasy you’ve been too embarrassed to tell me about?
15. What would you rather do for a date night, go to a fancy dinner, or attend a cooking class to teach us how to make a fancy dinner?
16. If you had to choose an actor/actress to portray me in a movie, who would it be?
17. What’s a song that makes you think about me?
18. Do you think couples matching outfits is cute or tacky?
19. Describe how you would dress me, type of clothing, colors, style, etc?
20. Do you think I’m more fun after a few drinks? How so?
These conversation starters for couples were handpicked to enable you to have an idea of the kind of questions to ask and how to ask them. Don’t be limited to them but work at creating your own templates. If you mean to spend the rest of your life with this person then these questions are only the beginning point as there are so many things to know and discover as well.
Remember, you are two separate beings with different backgrounds and upbringing and to stay happily ever after, you need to get into each other and know about their birth, childhood days, what it was like being with their parents, the kind of environment they grew up, if their parents were polygamous, how they get along with their siblings, superstitious belief (you can see the list keeps increasing). Do well to increase it by adding yours.
Note also, that they are just conversation starters so you should go with the flow and add to it. As a couple, you can even do well to create your own conversation starters for couples too.
When next you want to discover something new about your mate or get to the heart of a particular issue, or maybe you just want to talk and share a good laugh with them, just reach for your own convo starters and it will not be a boring moment together.
Save this for later!