Your marriage seems to have reached a dead end. There might have been fights, communication may be lacking, intimacy might be just a pleasant memory buried in the past, you no longer feel the need to spend time with each other, and the word DIVORCE might have popped out. But human beings are surprising and inconsistent, especially when it comes to heart affairs. If there has been fire, there might be sparks left and there can be some signs telling you your husband is changing his mind about the divorce.
If you have already considered divorce, but none of you has made a definitive move, there might be hope. If you don’t find it in yourself to talk openly with your husband about your marriage, there are certain signs that your husband might be reconsidering divorce. Just be patient, observe, analyze, and follow the hints.
Signs Husband Is Changing Mind about Divorce
Your husband no longer brings up the word ‘Divorce’ each time you talk to each other
When things go wrong, and there seems to be no other possible solution than splitting, the words ‘divorce’ is part of almost every sentence your partner utters. If you see that your husband mentions the word divorce less frequently, he might be changing his mind and looking for other solutions. On the other hand, it might be a sign that things are improving and divorce is no longer the only way out. So make sure to follow through.
He brings up pleasant memories with you, as a couple
‘Do you remember when we…?’ When divorce is on the table as the only solution and has been – up to a certain point – agreed upon, tension tends to fade away, and partners begin to see each other with different eyes. If your husband has started to bring up memories that involve good times that you have spent together, it might be a sign that he is rediscovering the woman he has fallen in love with.
He takes your preferences into account and tries to get your attention
Is he wearing those jeans that make you feel butterflies in your stomach? How about the cologne you are crazy about? Or that playful smile that turns you on… If he tries to seduce you, he is not thinking about getting a good lawyer. He is trying to rekindle the flame!
He tries to spend as much time as possible with you
When things go wrong in a relationship, the last thing you want is to spend time with the person causing you distress. If your husband is trying to spend time with you (i.e., go shopping together, watch a movie, go out with friends, etc.), it means that being around you is not that unpleasant after all. He might just be reconsidering divorce. Spending time together opens up the door to communication. That might be the perfect opportunity to solve all those problems that have set you apart.
He shows you signs of physical affection
A caress, a playful touch, a hug, a hand touch, a massage… these are signs of physical affection that help couples navigate conflicts and rediscover intimacy. These signs of emotional connection can only mean one thing: your husband is reconsidering divorce.
He mentions counseling
When things get complicated, and partners do not seem to find the way out by themselves, getting professional help might be beneficial. If your husband mentions counseling, he thinks that you can work things out.
He compliments you
‘Wow, you look amazing in that dress!’, ‘I love the way you wear your hair!’, or ‘What a fantastic dinner!’ Let’s put that in context. You have agreed to get a divorce for a series of reasons: you no longer feel attracted to one another, you fight all the time, you hate everything your partner does, you think your partner doesn’t appreciate you, etc. Choose yours or add it to the list. The point is that, by complimenting you, your husband is admitting that there are things he still likes about you and appreciates. That might be a sign that he is reconsidering divorce.
He takes your needs into consideration
When divorce is right around the corner, and there has been a lot of tension involved, partners usually exercise restraint for the sake of their loved ones. In most cases, they don’t even greet each other, let alone pay attention to each other’s needs. So if your husband does all those small things that he knows you need (e.g., buy your favorite shower gel, make coffee for two, etc.), that’s a sign that he might be reconsidering divorce.
He admits having made mistakes that affected your marriage
When things go wrong in a relationship, we tend to minimize our actions and blame our partner. Suppose your husband admits having made mistakes that might have negatively affected your marriage. In that case, it is a sign that he is analyzing everything and looking at things from a different, objective perspective. There might be room for compromise and starting over.
His future plans are not I-based but WE-based
If your husband makes future plans that still involve both of you rather than only himself, he is reconsidering divorce. He is still unable to see himself as single.
He tries to improve communication
Poor communication is often the main reason relationships fail. Nasty verbal fights, cold silences, or blaming are unlikely to solve a problem. Being able to talk openly, calmly, without toning up about all those things that went wrong in your marriage is the only way to work around a problem. If your husband is trying to improve communication between you, he is interested in making your marriage work again.
He tells you that he wants to work things out
Well, that’s not precisely a sign but a pure and simple statement of purpose. However, for this to work, his actions must correspond with his words. If he starts to get involved again, shows you signs of physical and/or emotional affections, and is willing to talk openly about your problems and work on solutions, then your husband is genuinely trying to revive your marriage.
While some marriages are broken beyond repair, some others can still be saved. If you see any of the positive signs we have talked about, make sure to embrace them and work on your marriage. Just keep in mind that it is not enough if the husband is changing his mind about the divorce. Making a marriage work again takes work, time, patience, empathy, compromise, and – above all – mutual commitment.
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