Every venture that plans to succeed has to be goal-driven including relationships. This is a vital part of our lives as individuals as in most cases every other area of our lives hinges on it. Imagine going to school just because you are asked to go, that alone spells doom because there is no end goal in sight.
Goal setting is a step in the right direction in relationships and it tells that if followed-through, it will guarantee success in the end.
Relationship goals refer to the reason you are in a relationship and what you hope to accomplish being in that relationship. It could be short or long term. It is more like a guide on how to give your best in a relationship. To succeed in creating this, you have to be realistic.
Forget about fairy tales and what you see in movies, they are unrealistic. Nobody wants to end up heartbroken or start-up what they don’t want to finish, especially when they are matured and true to ‘self’.
Why relationship goals? Are they necessary at all?
These goals allow you;
- Strengthen your relationship by giving time to work on areas of challenges.
- Remind you that you are partners and will foster togetherness.
- It helps you access your relationship to know how healthy it is.
- It helps you prioritize and plan.
In today’s post, we will be exploring some relationship goals for couples and some examples too.
1. Understanding
The very first relationship goal that scores a healthy relationship is understanding. It takes more than words to communicate, it takes understanding. Learning to understand your strengths and weaknesses as a couple or team goes a long way to show how healthy your relationship is.
Every pair of scissors has a sharp part and a blunt part, I call it the not so sharp part. The frontal part is sharp while the back is blunt. In the same manner, every couple has areas of strengths and weaknesses. This is where knowing and understanding your partner comes in.
Your spouse has come a long way over the years and has developed many skills, qualities, habits and even behavioral attitudes both positive and negative.
The truth is that because you spend more time with them more than anyone else, you will experience everything that others may not see. This works both ways as you also have your good and not so good traits. Nobody is perfect, we all have strengths and weaknesses.
But let us understand that EVERY strength can equally be a weakness, likewise every weakness a strength. If you both want each other and your union to fulfill its purpose; you must recognize and encourage the use of and develop the ‘sharp part’ of your spouse. You also must display your ‘sharp part’ always as you work towards adjusting your weaknesses.
You must both develop maturity and be emotionally intelligent to know when and where weakness is a strength and vice versa and deploy or downplay them.
You need to know each other’s values and core beliefs. Ignorance will destroy your relationship faster than anything else.
2. Emotional Management
Couples in healthy relationships have mastered the art of their emotions or are constantly working on it. Every day in a relationship doesn’t feel the same as there are good and bumpy days. There are days you are tempted to just let go but how do you manage this feeling?
What can you do during those not so good moments when it doesn’t feel good and maintain a strong and healthy relationship?
Here are some steps to help you manage through it;
Work On Your Thoughts
Women are generally considered as emotional beings because we tend to be moved by emotions which sometimes rob us of the joys of beautiful relationships. The more we focus on the not so good things in our relationships, the more we magnify them.
Relationship Goal Scenario
Imagine it’s been three hours you sent your man a text message and he’s yet to respond, what goes through your mind?
You may conclude he is busy or chooses to get yourself worked up. The thoughts begin to magnify the situation, you begin to think perhaps he is with someone else or the fact that he is yet to respond means he is not so into you. You begin to remember instances you sent messages without replies.
Then you go ahead to conclude that you are in a loveless relationship and you are being taken for granted. Meanwhile, he may not even be with his phone then. Yet, you begin to escalate issues in your mind. This is so wrong. The more you keep brooding on this, the more your relationship looks inappropriate to you and the more you are unhappy.
How Do You Deal With This?
Nip the thought in the bud the moment it starts. Else you will envelope yourself with so much negativity. Why not replace the thought with, he could be in a meeting, he is not with his phone presently or I trust he is busy and will respond to me later. I know he cares about me and can’t change that all of a sudden.
Remember it is emotionally healthy people that make healthy relationships. Watch your flow of thoughts. It has a huge impact on the general well being of your relationship and how you relate with your spouse.
3. Communicate Effectively
This goes beyond words, verbal and nonverbal cues are involved. Do you still communicate even when you are hurt? How do you communicate?
Couples in healthy relationships are free and express themselves. It’s easy to relate with your mate when all is going well, but when either of both partners is hurt, a wall brick is quickly set up that if not removed immediately can stall the growth of the relationship. This is one of the goals for couples that should be adhered to. Communicating even when you are hurt.
Weak people give the silent treatment, pout, keep malice or begin to behave abnormally.
What’s the way forward?
Tell your partner when you are hurt.
Our emotions can be unpredictable sometimes as we can suddenly feel offended by a minor situation. When this happens, it could be a result of what has been occurring that has been kept inside.
Some have the habit of keeping a diary of past hurt and when something little occurs, it triggers past feelings of hurt. If this describes you, be open to your mate. Let them know how you feel.
The ability to be vulnerable strengthen ties and improves the wellbeing of your relationship. A sign your bond is a strong one is an ability to be open and not being afraid of your mate using it against you as one of the goals of your relationship is openness.
Relationship goals example;
If you feel hurt, a good example of how to relate it to your significant order is by saying lovingly, I know you love and cherish me as much as I do too but I’ve noticed this issue for some time now, you may not have noticed but I will like us to talk about it as it’s hurting me. I want us to work as I find joy being with you. Then you go ahead to state whatever it is.
Talking things out in this manner will make your mate wants to make you happy because you went about it lovingly without trading blames. If you do it wrong, it may make your make go defensive or even scare them away.
4. Manage Each Other’s Mood
You have come a long way together and can tell when your partner needs some space or is going through stuff. Do you aggravate or try to alleviate it?
Studies have it that when a woman is happy, her man is also happy. It may not always be the case but is often real. This saying is true for the following reasons. Every man has it at his core to make his woman happy and will go to any length to make it happen. And when the woman is happy she can give her best in the relationship which will also make her man happy.
A man will commit when he feels he can make you happy but when you ruin it with your mood then it makes him feel like he is not good enough. Every man wants to see his mate brimming with smiles while every woman wants to see her man happy and fulfilled.
When you exude positive vibes, it encourages your spouse. It is contagious too and will bring out the best sides of your partner and make them want to do more for you.
When your partner sees you constantly in a bad mood, you send signals of inadequacy and this may make your mate retreat as they feel they can’t make you fulfilled or are not good enough for you.
Note also that no one can make you happy if you are not whole and happy from within; only you have the power to experience happiness in its real form.
You can’t control your mate, but your mood can inspire them.
Concentrate on taking care of yourself and doing things that make you happy. Focus on seeing things from the brighter side of life and this will change your mood and bring some good vibes into your relationship which will also change things for the better.
5. Make Each Other A Priority
This is one relationship goal example. When you are committed to your partner, they become a priority. Through these, you create memories together. Yes, you plan to be partners for life but it begins in the relationship and grows. Somehow, you begin to become accountable to each other and work together to achieve great things.
6. You Weather The Storm Together
How may rough times have you been through together? A whole lot I guess. One relationship goal for couples is to be there with their partners through thick and thin.
Holding them and spurring them to move on, being the voice that encourages them, the hands that cuddle them and the back that carries them during rough times. They should be real and true to you, not what you think it should be by the opinion of others but what you know can work for you.
7. Be Generous
Being kind and generous to your partner is another relationship goal example. It’s easy to be nice but takes extra effort to be generous to the one that has won the number one spot in your heart.
It involves meeting their needs and playing your role adequately in their lives. It entails believing in them, their abilities and being able to support them where necessary.
8. You Keep The Future In View
Venturing into a relationship without a picture of what you hope for is the beginning of failure. This is one of the relationship goals couples should hold on to in order to have a sense of security. The future should be laid out and planned.
What do you talk about in your relationship?
Any plans for the future?
Below is a checklist of what you should be looking forward to in your relationship.
Where you hope to build a family?
The number of children you hope to have?
Your investments?
Your roles as man and wife?
The place of your extended family?
How you hope you care for your extended family?
These and more when looked into together shows you both have a future in view together.
9. Mutual Respect, Trust, And Shared Interests Are Part Of The Mix
I call the above the inseparable trio. Another point in cute relationship goals: Respect is vital, Trust is inevitable and being actively involved in each other’s interests is non-negotiable.
How secure are you in the relationship? Do you still have doubts? Do you go snooping around your mate’s phone? Your trust for each other should be able to stand the test of time regardless of what happens. You both have shared interest and have deep respect and reverence for each other. This is non-negotiable for men.
10. You Keep Growing
This involves evolving and changing. The more you are together, you learn more together with your needs and how to meet them. You do fun things together, you go on dates, you keep discovering ways you can keep being into each other.
You keep discovering your partner’s needs and striving to meet them, romance keeps evolving and getting better, you keep enjoying the adventure together, keep mastering the art of surprising your mate. The list is inexhaustible, but the idea is to keep growing on.
Note that the goals above are not rules of dos and don’t but are goals that you map out with your partner and are real to you and can help you carve out the future you desire with your partner.
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