I can sense what is going through your mind. You may be thinking, I’ve heard over and over again that routines are not good for relationships. Note that in most cases rituals are not routines.
We may get so comfortable doing certain things that our relationships become boring and uninteresting. We begin to neglect some little things that ought to be in place to keep putting some spark into our love life but there are certain things we do that we discover makes us more alive especially when we do these things with our spouse.
It’s been proven that when couples begin to get used to each other and become familiar, certain aspects of their lives together begin to dwindle like their communication. They may get too familiar and see every good thing their mate does for them as their responsibility and as such, they do not need to be appreciated including their intimacy and bedtime.
Misunderstandings begin to increase too as they begin to step on each other’s toes- You begin to see a whole lot of things you were not privy to before now and you may begin to feel like you are in a wrong relationship. Not true honey, time is taking its toll on your relationship and you need to catch up real soon and keep things hot and sizzling between you and the love of your life.
Perhaps you are in love, just wedded, been married for a long time and the kids are all gone and you want to spice things up or you are seeking for new ways to keep your love life up to date, this post is for you.
We all want to be loved and appreciated and this is one thing we will never get tired of receiving. No one ever gets tired of receiving love and like I always say, anything done with love as it’s motive will always be rewarded.
One ritual my parents had back then was to wait for one another and have dinner together. Mum never goes to bed without seeing Dad or having dinner with him irrespective of how late he returns from work.
Not all couples can do this, but it worked for my parents- It was sacred to them. They used this time to catch up on how their day went and share some highlights about the day. Now to rituals that can spice up love and make it last longer.
1. Appreciate One Another
A lot of couples wait for a special day to show appreciation to their mate. Some wait till it’s their birthday, Valentine’s day or some kind of celebration.
Showing appreciation shouldn’t be a once in while stuff- remember this is your partner we are talking about here. The same person you were crazy about, who you couldn’t do without, whose voice you were longing to hear, who you couldn’t wait to sleep and wake up with. I mean that same person who would make you some little snacks back then and you would say thank you with a gift in return.
Appreciating your spouse can be done in very little ways, by words, body language or even little gifts. The bottom line is to take advantage of every opportunity available or create avenues to appreciate your loved one.
Renew your commitment to always be with them also. Do not wait until they do something for you before you reciprocate by appreciating them. No, you can remind them of how happy to have them in your space, Remind them that they are worth the best things of life to you.
Tell me, who will not keep falling in love always when they are treated this way? No one buddy. For those who find it difficult to express themselves with words, you can write to each other.
You may be wondering why this. Take a chill pill, a sticky note isn’t too much a chore. A few words penned down for your partner and kept away from plain view could put some smile on the face of your mate.
One of the most painful things about being too used to your partner is you feel you don’t need to do anything to keep them with you because you feel you have them already- it hurts to feel like you are being taken for granted. Imagine if your spouse never expresses her love to you.
Some really don’t know how to put their thoughts into words but ” I love you” on paper pasted by the bedside or even on the mirror in the bathroom will melt the heart of your lover.
The words don’t have to be too much, Just let your mate feel loved. There are a million ways to initiate a ritual of appreciation by writing. Just make it simple and follow through every day by placing them in different locations.
Did I say your spouse has been so sweet? No, I know they have not been at their best but the idea is to concentrate on the positives because what you focus on increases. Stay positive!
2. Create Your Ritual
Every couple has something they do together that keeps them happy together. For Marilyn and Gaye’s it involved taking a cup of coffee together in bed. It starts with them waking up fifteen minutes before their normal wake up time to cuddle, kiss and talk about each other.
Sometimes Gaye reminds his wife of how she played hard to get in their dating days, she responds by talking about some of the funny things he did and the one thing he did that finally made her say yes. Gaye never forgets things and when he talks about them, I remember those moments perfectly as he explains in detail says his wife.
I also giggle and smile sheepishly when she reminds me of some naughty things I did all in a bid to get her attention. We create memories and never get tired of talking about us even when we keep repeating the same stories, it’s fun. We seal our morning by taking a cup of coffee made specially by me says, Gaye.
This is a couple’s ritual, you can have yours too. It doesn’t have to be lengthy but it should be something you both enjoy doing that makes you happy and also binds you together. You could try dancing to your favorite high school music or an old tune- just do what you both enjoy.
With your ritual in place, you would value time spent together and look forward to creating memorable moments. Make it a point of duty to tune out the world when it’s time for you two. You could switch off or put your phones on silent. The idea is giving your mate undivided attention.
3. Don’t Get Tired Of Touching
Kisses and hugs go a long way to show your partner you care and that they mean so much to you. Hugs do not only end with physical contact, but it also reaches the soul. It tells your mate, you are their haven. It’s been said to lower stress, keep you happy, helps your mood and also promote intimacy between couples.
So when next you hug or kiss your spouse, look beyond the body contact, there’s more to it. It helps build trust, also as you know, no one shares your partner with you. You feel like the most important person in your partner’s world.
This creates a memory bank for you that you keep remembering even when you are separated by distance. Don’t stay away from touches- Some ladies mistake touches from their men as a call to lovemaking and it turns them off.
No please, see it as an act of love. Men also, a woman may just need a reassuring touch from you which may not be erotically-related. It could be a touch to make her feel secure. Hugs sometimes carry the feeling of being missed, loved and protected.
4. Try Sleeping And Waking Up Together
This may be difficult to do considering different job schedules and their demands and it may not be feasible for some homes but this is a great way to make your love stronger as couples.
You don’t just sleep and wake together but in each other’s arms, you could also do some religious activity together like praying or studying together too. This goes a long way! Doing this will help you be in sync with each other, it will help you listen to each other’s heartbeat and plan your day too. While you do this you could communicate and catch up on each other’s day.
All days are not alike, there are good and not so good days. Being with your loved one in bed after a long day with the world seems like a resting place or a ‘safe’ haven away from the world. In this position, you could offer and get some level of comfort, acceptance and encouraging words.
In this place, you could also celebrate your successes and share your failures. Some couples engage in what they call “pillow talk”. At this point, they unburden their minds, talk about their most difficult task of the day and how they pulled through.
Some share jokes, read together as their favorite tune plays in the background. Some bond at this point asking for forgiveness from their spouse. The rule remains, do what works for you. If it feels uneasy, switch to something else; over time you will find what works for you.
5. Be Mysterious
Never be predictable when it comes to your spouse. Be innovative, look for new ways to tickle them and make them happy. Regardless of how busy you may be, there is always something you can do to make your partner happy and also make you two bond.
The key is making your spouse a priority, once they are, you will always seek for ways to bond with them. Once it is in your heart, ideas will come up.
You will find yourself doing the unexpected to create more fun and make you drawn to your partner. Try to surprise your spouse for no reason. Think of their good qualities, think of the times they came through for you and just do something surprising for them. This goes a long way to show you care about them.
You could host a house party for them and invite a few family and friends, you could send little gifts to them at work or offer to pick them up from work or even take them out for lunch.
If your mate is an indoor person, create something indoor like cooking a meal for them or buying dinner from their favorite restaurant on your way home. How about making a trip together? Going on vacation to a place you have always wanted to go to. I know couples who make it a yearly affair.
They just take out time with their partners to enjoy some uninterrupted time together in an entirely different environment, tasting new delicacies and having great fun away from a familiar environment. There is no limit to what you can do for your mate.
Are there just five rituals that will help your love last? Of course not. There are a whole lot of things you can do to make love last. Don’t freak out if you cannot carry out any of the above-listed rituals. It doesn’t have to be cumbersome too.
Below is a list of some little things you can do to make love last:
- Sharing a joke.
- Catching up on how your day went.
- Going on dates.
- Taking pictures.
- Going on vacation together.
- Taking out the trash.
- Walking the dogs.
- Assisting in house chores.
- Help with babysitting.
- Prepare meals.
- Pick your partner’s outfit.
See a movie together. As little and insignificant as they may look, it may just be that one thing your mate has been waiting for. Give it a trial today.
Which would you like to add or which have you tried before now? I would love to read them in the comment section.
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