101 Funny Text Messages That will Make your Partner Laugh

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Being able to put a smile on your partner’s face is a wonderful way to keep connected and strengthen your bond. And what better way to achieve that than with a fun, unexpected text message? Below you can find a selection of text funny text messages that you can use to wish your partner a happy birthday, let him/her know that you are thinking about him/her, or simply lighten his/her mood. 

101 funny text messages for couples

  1. I really dislike people! Of course, you are the exception!
  2. I love you more than my morning coffee! Please, take my word on it and don’t make me prove it. 
  3. God must have been showing off when he made you!
  4. They say you can burn 5 to 26 calories per minute when kissing passionately. Wanna work out tonight?  
  5. I’m feeling a little off right now. I think you are the only one who can turn me on. 
  6. There are around 7.9 billion people in the world and I chose you! If that doesn’t make you feel special, nothing will. 
  7. Do you think I’m irresistibly attractive today? Or should I buy an extra bottle of wine for tonight? 
  8. I’m organizing a sale in our bedroom tonight. Everything will be 100% off. Don’t be late!
  9. Please, update your agenda: I have scheduled a meeting for our lips tonight. 
  10. Close your eyes and relax. Now stop breathing for as long as you can. Breathe again. Did you miss air? That’s how much I miss you!
  11. Don’t you ever dare to call me crazy! I’m not the crazy person who married ME!
  12. If kisses were words, you’d be reading this message with your lips…
  13. I love how you always make the right choices. I’m the living proof!
  14. Could you please stop making me think about you? I’ve got a lot of work to do!
  15. Last night I dreamed I was Leonardo Da Vinci and you were Gioconda. Did it feel good being my muse?
  16. Can you buy me a pair of heatproof gloves on the way home? This morning you looked way too hot to handle.
  17. They say kissing is the language of love. I think we have a lot to talk about tonight.
  18. I bet you $100 that you won’t like my latest Victoria’s Secret purchase!
  19. Do you happen to know why the thermometer in the dining room went wild! It’s insanely hot. Oh wait, it must be because of me. 
  20. Last night I dreamed about you and me…alone…no kids around… It was a prophetic dream, wasn’t it?
  21. Did you listen to the radio today? All the love songs were about you!!! 
  22. I’m all yours. No refunds!
  23. Birthdays come once a year. I’m so happy you are not a birthday! See you tonight!
  24. My dearest one, I’m really glad I’ve been annoying you for so long. I look forward to keeping doing it for a long time to come!
  25. There is no other person in the whole world I would rather have snoring by my side!
  26. You know I will always love you, don’t you? Well, unless I forget who you are. 
  27. Kiss me if I’m wrong but magnets don’t attract iron, right?
  28. Just to let you know that I’m still wearing the smile you gave me!
  29. I love you as much as a chicken loves to stay away from KFC!
  30. You happen to be my favorite cardio workout. Looking forward to tonight!
  31. Hello, my nightly superhero, my Iron Man! I and the laundry are both waiting for you to work your magic! Don’t be late!
  32. If you were Christmas, I wouldn’t mind being Grinch ☺
  33. I’m so happy for you! You’ve got the most amazing and handsome husband ever!
  34. Coffee, tea, or me? 
  35. We look awesome together. A bit because of you, true.  But mostly because of me.
  36. I’ve been wondering about this all day: where do you hide your imperfections?
  37. I am the best thing that ever happened to you. I expect my reward tonight.
  38. You annoy me more than I could have ever imagined. But, for some reason, I love you and want to spend every irritating minute by your side.
  39. Do you know which is my favorite part of you?  Of course, the better half: Me!
  40. Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.

(George Burns) You are my backache!

  1. I love you like an obese kid loves candy. 
  2. You and me! 
funny text messages
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  1. There is no need to blame yourself for what happened. That’s a privilege I’ve earned when you said ‘I do!’ ☺
  2. Good night, my darling. I’d say ‘God bless you’, but he already did when you met me! 
  3. Just to reconfirm: even if my standards have evolved with age, I still think you are husband/wife material!
  4. Do you think the kids can parent themselves for one night? I’d love to spend time alone with you.
  5. A little bird told me that you love me. But I don’t trust birds. They are flighty. Can I hear it from you instead?
  6. I love you like I love my paycheck. Only that with you I cash every day ☺
  7. Hello, my love. If anyone tries to spoil your day, let me know. Watched a documentary last night and I know how to get rid of their bodies without being caught!
  8. Fancy going anywhere this weekend, just the two of us?
funny text messages
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    51. Next time you upset me, I will give your phone number to our kids and all their schoolmates and tell them it is Santa’s hotline. 

  1. Hello, darling. I think we will spend the rest of our lives together. We are both too lazy to look for another life partner.
  2. Forget about the past as you can’t change it. You can also forget about the present as I didn’t get you one! Don’t forget about the future though as I’ll need your forgiveness! Happy Birthday, my love!
  3. Have you started studying interior design? Asking because everything was looking perfect when you got out of the shower this morning!
  4. Honey, I think you should see the doctor ASAP! This morning you had beauty and sensuality all over your body!
  5. Fancy switching the responsible adult button off this weekend? We could replace multi-tasking with multi-lusting ☺
  6. I agree that money can’t buy love. But a fat paycheck definitely improves the bargaining position. Guess who’s cashing today?!
  7. Marriages have no guarantees. That’s why you married me and not a kitchen robot. I’ll cook dinner for us tonight!
  8. Do you like living in my heart without paying rent? I think we should renegotiate the renting contract! ☺ 
  9. I’m still a little mad…

 

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  1. They say love is a mental illness. Next time I act crazy keep in mind that you are to blame!
  2. Even though, emotionally, I have already finished work and I’m thinking about you, officially I still have to stay here until 5. Miss you!
  3. I’m probably the reason they need to put instructions even on soap. I’m unable to read between the lines, honey. So just tell me what you want.
  4. If we ever get divorced, I’ll be the slug and you can keep the house. That’s how much I love you!
  5. Would you object if I put some vodka in our bedroom humidifier? We could go sooo wild…
  6. You and I are going to spend the rest of our lives together. At this point, you know too much…
  7. Thank you for choosing me as your life partner! Just something for further reference: in my family, craziness has never skipped a generation. That’s a generally valid excuse too, isn’t it?
  8. Are you a smartphone connected to the Internet? That would explain why I’m addicted to you…
  9. Thank you, my dear, for keeping me sane for so long!
  10. Just a reminder: dancing is the vertical expression of a horizontal desire. Looking forward  to the party!
  11. Roses are red, Violets are blue, I acted like a baboon,Hope you forgive me soon!
  12. Would it be too cheesy if I told you that you are legen-dairy?
  13. Nobody seems to be happily married. Except you, of course.
  14. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. (David Young)
  15. I will always love you, no matter what!
funny text messages
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  1. Thank you for looking at me the same way I look at chocolate!
  2. Love is all about being stupid together. Wanna do something crazy tonight?
  3. Each time I look at you I can’t help thinking ‘Damn, that’s how a lucky husband/wife looks like!’
  4. Hello, my beautiful flower! Sorry for buzzing you…
  5. I want to be the reason you watch your phone, smile, and bump into the wall! Am I successful?
  6. Hello, dear customer. Today, The Bank of Love is offering you an interest-free 100 kisses credit in appreciation of your long-term deposit.
  7. Honey, I heard on the news that someone is kidnapping the most wonderful people in the world. Please, stay in bed! I’m on my way home to protect you!
  8. Actually, I wanted to get you something very special, awesome, unique, and beautiful for your birthday. Unfortunately, I don’t fit in the box.
  9. If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you must be a genius! My beloved genius! 
  10. The FBI is looking for a smart, sophisticated, and sexy person with an acute sense of humour. You’re safe, but where am I supposed to hide?
  11. Press 1 for a kiss, press 2 for a hug, or press 3 for an unforgettable night. If you can’t decide and want it all, call me! 
  12. There will come a time when you will lose your hair, teeth, money, and even your memory. But you won’t lose me! I love you!
  13. I wanted to send you something exciting, clever, and sexy. Unfortunately, I don’t fit on the phone screen.
  14. Darling, I agree that, for Valentine’s Day, we can try a new position: I’ll lie on the couch, drinking beer and watching TV, and you can iron the laundry.
  15. They say men discovered fire, but women have discovered how to play with it. Let’s play together tonight!
  16. What a presence! So intelligent! So charming! Not to mention those beautiful eyes and that sexy body! But I’ve talked enough about myself! How are you, honey?
  17. Handsome, tall, and fit man is looking for a woman with a free USB port for genetic information transfer. Can you help?
  18. There are two types of people in this world: ME and people who wish to be like me. You’re so lucky! You’ve got the original!
  19. I feel so lucky to have a boyfriend/husband who looks almost as good as me! Love you!
  20. You’re always telling me to spend less money. Well, I decided to take your advice. It’s reflected in the birthday present I bought you. Love you!
  21. This Christmas, if a fat, hairy guy dressed up in red comes and puts you in a sack, don’t panic! I told Santa that all I want for Christmas is YOU!
  22. My friends were right. Women are like PCs: difficult to understand, they carefully store all your mistakes, and you spend all your money on accessories for them. But I got the best PC! Love ya!
  23. If they paid me 1 dollar for every time I think of you, Bill Gates would be cleaning our bathrooms every day!
  24. I own all those love phrases I send you. Even of those that I copy and paste.
  25. Since I first saw you, I stopped having breakfast, lunch, and dinner because I was busy thinking about you. Well, I also stopped sleeping because I was soooo hungry.
  26. For your birthday, I wanted to get you something to remind you of your youth. However, everything was sold out in the rock art and dinosaur bones department. Guess what? You’re stuck with me!

We hope you liked the list of funny text messages and that you found the one for your partner. Have a good laugh!

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Author: Ksenija

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