Being a woman comes with a lot of responsibilities from the boardroom to the bedroom as we are expected to do well in both areas and also strike a balance. Having a little “o” underneath is some huge responsibility as you need to figure it out too as this is the reason why some ladies make terrible mistakes not just in bed but beyond.
Being able to have this figured out, comes with some level of pride and confidence. It starts with loving your body and being careful and not throwing it to every Tom, D*ck, and Harry.
It is true that as women our sensuality varies from one to another. Some enjoy the act of lovemaking from start to finish with great pleasure and satisfaction while some don’t even understand the process especially when they are burdened with issues ranging from life situations to general health, hormones, cycle, and even erotic preferences. These factors affect our performance in the “other room”.
We will be looking at some mistakes women make in bed along sides some practical solutions. There’s nothing to cringe about if you find yourself in the pages below. We are women and we need to help each other, that’s what sisters love is all about. Let’s look at some of these mistakes.
1. Getting Angry When Your Partner Sleeps Off
You are just so insensitive, you just fall asleep right after getting ” it ” up and down. Can’t you cuddle me while I fall asleep in your arms? You just doze off while I’m left alone to figure out when I will get to dreamland. This sounds familiar I guess.
I understand that you love to chat a little and then fall asleep but after the act “Mr. Man” is likely to fall asleep. Blame it on biology if you want but that’s just the way it is. So don’t be angry when this happens.
2. Being Passive
It is not news that some ladies just don’t know what to do with their men in bed but it is frustrating to men. Imagine how painful it is to find your woman jump into bed and play dumb or lie like a log of wood.
It could be disheartening. Ladies, let’s learn to participate to show that you are alive and not a statue. Your man is trying to meet a need, not just his but yours as well.
While your man tries to get the joystick up, assist in doing the same. participate fully. Use your hands, mouth, tongue( for those who engage in oral) and even body movement, don’t just lay still. That it is a missionary position doesn’t mean you should lie on your back doing nothing. What happened to your waist? Move it!
There are a whole lot of things you can do, undress him, plant kisses, moan also. If he’s doing it right let him know. Don’t suppress your emotions, let it out. Making love to a silent partner is like doing it to a corpse and it could be a huge turn off for men.
3. Not Paying Attention To Personal Hygiene And Grooming
Don’t grow a forest down there, you could wax( I know it hurts) or even trim. If you don’t want to go bald down there, it could be romantic to find out how your man wants it. If you want him spending time down there, then clean it up.
You may not use douches but wash well, the lips inclusive. We are known for secretions almost all over us, the more reason why you should be trim down there and your armpits too. The bad smell repels.
Get rid of the fishy smell or reduce it by washing right before the act. Take extra care before getting intimate. Invest in a good deodorant and body spray or even perfume; it could be an aphrodisiac for your man too. Wear clean lingerie and change bedding regularly.
4. Not Being Able To Tell Your Man What You Want
Some attribute it to being shy. Others expect the man to just figure out what is in their minds. Your man isn’t a mind reader, he doesn’t understand your silence or tantrums, it’s best to just say what you want.
You will be doing yourself a whole lot of harm when you don’t speak up. If he’s good at what he does, tell him and if not, you could tell him or even direct him on what to do and how you like it done. Use the opportunity to also ask him what he likes and try giving it to him too. Also, state your boundaries else you could end up getting poked in your butt.
5. Not Being Proud Of Their Bodies
There is nothing wrong with getting naked and allowing your spouse to explore your body. That’s why you are a couple. Little wonder some ladies prefer undressing in the dark and some others undress and head straight for the covers.
Come on girl, don’t feel bad about the flabby stomach or bulge. Can I tell you something? Your dude doesn’t even notice. He feels you have the best body.
Do you think he is concerned about the “fallen heroes”? Not really! It’s his nature to like them and if you don’t feel too good about them then you can fix them but in the meantime please love yourself.
Your man doesn’t see what your head is saying about your body. He is enjoying the moment and in the heart of it, all he thinks of and sees is a real woman. Allow your mate to admire what he’s got.
Seeing you naked could arouse him and help you halfway through the struggle of getting in the mood. Don’t kill the spark in your bedroom.
6. Not Initiating Lovemaking And Taking The Lead
I think culture should be blamed for this as a woman is considered a slut generally by the society when she knows her way around giving a man what he wants in bed but this shouldn’t stop us ladies as times are changing.
Remember no one knows your partner’s body as you do so use it to your advantage. Feel free to initiate lovemaking. Use codes or body language that should be well understood by you two if you don’t know how to be vocal about it.
If you can take the lead in the boardroom, how about the bedroom? Be free to tell your man you need him and be in charge. Try out positions that put you in charge like the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl, ride your man to magical heights, he would love you for it.
7. Sticking To A Routine
Ladies learn to be adventurous and try new things. Be innovative and creative. The days of just missionary is gone. As a matter of fact, it’s been reinvented. Ladies evolve. Try using aphrodisiacs, make it fun and exciting, play a naughty nurse in bed sometimes.
Add some sweet aroma to the atmosphere and include music too. It has a way of triggering emotions. Work on stimulations through your lingerie and let his eyes feast on something that will arouse him.
Engage in a change of scenery too. How is your bedroom? Is it sensual enough? Declutter as much as possible so nothing stands in the way when it’s time to naughty.
Work at making your bedroom a comfortable place for two, remember this is the nest lovers come to roost and where the magic begins.
8. Seeing Lovemaking As A Chore
Some ladies feign being sick when the husband calls for their attention. I know you are a mum and a workaholic and you need to rest but see getting intimate with your man as a time of refreshing.
It has more advantages than you think you know. Apart from reducing your stress levels, it makes you happy and also helps you bond with your man.
When you are tired and need to rest you can speak to your mate politely and not asking him if making out is food and to answer your question, yes it is food for a man. Agree with your man and speak to him lovingly.
I remember a friend whose husband used to complain a lot about her attitude towards lovemaking. She would say insulting and hurtful words to him and sometimes leave the bedroom to go sleep in another room.
Unfortunately, she’s out of the home with her man married to their maid. This is one of the reasons men cheat today, though it’s not an excuse; sometimes women contribute to the cheating attitude of their spouse. This is what paved the way for side chics today.
It’s true that a cheat will always cheat regardless of the “snake in monkey shadow” style in bed but do your part and allow your man. Someone is waiting to satisfy your man if you are not ready.
9. Jumping Right Out Of Bed Immediately After The Act
Come on sis! Your man did not spray insecticide on you, neither did he introduce poison into your system. Why not lie in bed and allow your emotions to soak in? Don’t treat your man’s cum like poison, relax and cuddle some more.
Perhaps you are not ready for a child yet but don’t you think it’s too late already? Try contraceptives but visit a health provider first to decide which will be perfect for you or use emergency pills when it happens unexpectedly. This isn’t the time to bother about personal hygiene and hurrying off to the bathroom doesn’t mean you are clean.
10. Asking Questions While At “It”
How was it? Did you enjoy it? So many “did I” and “how’s”. This could ruin the fun. Don’t even be surprised if your man has forgotten the experience, after all, he’s in a relaxed mood now. Don’t hurt yourself by asking questions. Men don’t think this is the right time to ask such.
Do you want to know if it was fun? He will tell you while at it or even afterward. Asking will be showing signs of low self-esteem or the need for approval. Be a confident girl, you have just used your feminine power, let it remain that way. Don’t fidget, be confident. If you feel you didn’t get it right this time, you will certainly get it right next time.
The key to all of this is your mindset. How do you see your partner? Do you love him enough to want to meet his needs? See your man’s body as your treasure hunt and you are a miner looking for gold. If that is too far fetched, look at your mate’s body as the second place of worship and you will be just fine. Look at his body parts as yours and you will forever cherish them.
The mistakes we make as women in bed is not limited to the list above. They also include faking orgasms, using your teeth while giving a blow job, not alternating between blow jobs and handjobs or even manipulating your partner with getting intimate in order to get what you want.
Some ladies withhold getting intimate with their partners and using it as punishment. Don’t forget that he can get it anywhere else as having it out there is cheap but you will be at risk of contracting STDs or other deadly diseases.
Some ladies also don’t insist on safe copulation all in a bid to please their partners. It’s your body and where there are communication and understanding, it can be solved. You can do it, lady, Go for it.
Having read all these, what’s your plan? Are you going to wait until your man gets chased by someone else or are you going to do something about it? Information is power, now you got it.
Determine to put your feminine powers to use and ignore funny myths flying around the town of your body getting old because of lovemaking, it’s only a myth.
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