It’s dating time and you are caught in between choosing partners. Maybe your relationship is new or you are scared of making mistakes or even ending up with the wrong mate.
When you don’t have an idea of how a man feels about you, it could drive you crazy as a lady. It’s even worse when the guy sends mixed vibes by being so into you today and becoming distant a couple of days after.
This makes most ladies not to put too much effort into their relationships in order not to get hurt later. To help you get over this kind of feeling and stop guessing, we will be exploring true signs that he loves you deeply.
When reviewing relationships, I prefer starting with the person in the mirror which happens to be you reading this post before looking at your mate.
Let’s assume yours is a new relationship, I hope you are still in touch with friends and family and have not been taken over by the new man in your life? How about your life goals and hobbies, are you working towards achieving them? I hope you still spend time with yourself also?
While being in love is one of the best things that could happen to you, you shouldn’t forget YOU. Make sure you are whole and have healthy self-worth before thinking about how anyone feels about you. Love yourself and believe in you.
Next, is a list of what you want in a relationship?
What kind of man do you want?
What are your weaknesses?
Mind you, you may be deeply in love with the man in your life but if you have not dealt with and resolved some issues in your life, heartbreak may be imminent. It is often said that you are attracted to who you are, if you want to attract diamonds, be one.
To know true signs he loves you, you should know what true love really is. Love is an action, you can say anything but doing it is what counts. This is the starting point, this should be your measuring tool to check “does he really love me or is he using me”?
Let’s go a little further, how can you tell if a man is a loser or using you? As ladies, we don’t need some kind of men in our lives and that includes losers and users.
How to tell you are with a loser:
- He will lie over simple things he should come clean about.
- He doesn’t bring anything to the table because he’s got no means of livelihood and isn’t making any efforts towards doing something.
- He has kids already with different women.
- He is hooked on drugs.
- He steals from you sometimes.
- He treats you badly.
- He hides you and lies to people about your relationship.
- He disrespects you.
Also, ask yourself some real questions:
What contribution has your man-made into your life?
Mind you, some guys are smart and know what they are doing when it comes to being users because they are skilled in the art.
If your man is someone who brings nothing to the table or even makes investments in your life no matter how little, or you find yourself being overburdened with responsibilities, sister, you have to watch it closely.
Does he borrow from you and never return it? Does he say he loves and wants to marry you yet does nothing about his responsibilities and instead asks you to go ahead with all plans, I’m sorry, you are being used.
Are you the one responsible for him? Do you work your ass out to satisfy his needs and yet he has nothing to offer you? Perhaps he even makes promises he never keeps including promising to marry you but keeps making excuses on why you should keep waiting.
This doesn’t only exist in dating relationships but marriage relationships also. You find yourself doing too much while your husband does the barest minimum (it’s a different case if he’s making efforts and it’s not adding up) but when he’s putting in no effort at all or looking for shortcuts to make it, then you really need to beware.
Most times your guts even tell you but you keep silencing it with the sweet nothings he whispers in your ears when you are together. It’s typical for ladies in love to make excuses for the men in their lives but don’t be used. If your man shows several signs highlighted above, just know that he is with you to get what he wants.
Don’t allow a man to manipulate and exploit you, if your guts tell you something, please listen to it because most of the time, it hardly ever goes wrong. In most cases, guys thrive on being naive and use it as an advantage to using you. Users come in different forms. He could be using you to satisfy his urge, his monetary needs, or even his social status.
Now we are done with users and losers, let’s go for the real deal, True signs he loves you deeply:
1. He Will Pursue You
Men are natural hunters and one of the signs ( not the surest anyway) he loves you is that he will pursue you. Don’t mistake him not pursuing you to mean that he is shy, no, if a man wants a lady, he goes all out for her.
Some ladies miss this sign and begin to pursue the man instead of being the other way round. If he can’t confront you physically, there are other channels he can use, he will call or text you. He will put in some effort to get you.
If you notice he’s not giving you the attention you deserve, watch for a little while and make your decision. A man in love will pursue his lady actively. That’s one of the true signs he loves you.
I know ladies who began their relationships by being the one who did the calling, texting and setting up dates, later on, they began to complain about how uncaring their men had become. I reminded them of how they took over the men’s responsibilities at the beginning of the relationship. Allow the men to do their job while you do yours, it’s not in your job description to chase a man, let him do it.
2. Your Life Will Get Better
Yes, an addition to your world should spice things up for you. Real love will not make you lose sleep. You are at a loss when you don’t experience true love – you lose respect, the ability to be independent, friends and family and even the ability to think clearly.
True love is meant to give your life a whole new meaning and perk things up for you. Your man will honor your interests and responsibilities. He will help you fulfill your dreams by being a driving force that propels you towards achieving something. He will trust and support your life goals.
He won’t be jealous of your achievements instead he will be happy and want to make you do more. If you notice that you lost family, some vital relationships, things and even time because you are in a relationship with a guy, you really need to check that relationship.
Being in love may make you blind to some red flags and make you also have reasons and excuses for why you should lose those things but check closely. A man in love will want to help you nurture extended relationships, it would not just be about the two of you only, after all, you are part of an extended body just like him.
He won’t play games with your mind by making you think if he’s for real or not, it will be vivid and clear. He won’t make you feel uneasy by saying one thing and doing another, he will make promises he can keep and not make you feel bad about yourself. This is one of the true signs he loves you.
3. His Words Will Match His Actions
Most times some men say “I love you” severally; it’s just a word to them without any meaning attached to it. Love is an action and requires effort. If your man says he loves you yet does nothing about it, then I’m afraid it’s fake. If you have to even sit back to think if your man loves you, then there’s a problem already. Love doesn’t hurt neither does it cheat.
It’s not news that men lie about loving us sometimes just to get into your skirts. What are the true signs that he loves you? The one singular truth is that he will act what he says. He may not be able to sing it into your ears but his actions will portray love.
4. He Will Show You Off
You will not be a mystery to family and friends. He will make you meet them. His family will not just know you but also know personal things about you and integrate you into the family even before you tie the knot( by this I mean they will begin to involve you in family activities and outings).
When a man loves a woman, he talks about her and when he does, family and friends will get to know about her. If you never get to meet his family and friends, it’s possible someone else is in the picture or he doesn’t love you enough for the long haul.
In love there’s no holding back, one of the true signs he loves you is that he will talk about you always and compliment you among family and friends.
5. He Will Be Completely Vulnerable With You
I understand that at the beginning of relationships things may be a little confusing especially since everyone tries to put their best foot forward. Some good men follow through while others go back on their words after a while which is why I advise ladies to control their emotions at the beginning of relationships.
When you love a man, don’t give in to getting down with him too quickly, hold on and let him wait, let him earn it by waiting. Most men are in it for a ride and will walk away after a few days or even weeks. Allow your man to prove himself, if he loves you, he will wait for you.
One of the true signs he loves you is that he will share himself with you. There will be no go areas when it comes to two of you. There will be no restrictions whatsoever. He will reveal his real nature and it will not be anything short of pure love.
6. He Will Ask For Your Inputs
When it comes to vital decision making, he will want to hear how you feel about whatever decision he’s taking and also want your input.
I remember being with a guy who loves giving me surprises. Unfortunately, they were no good surprises at all because he always ruins it at the end of the day.
He will have plans and carry them out and then when they fail (in fact they always do) he returns to tell me what his plans were and how he wanted to surprise me with his success (really). This is where ladies need to be careful too. You think he loves you when he comes with his problems but it’s not true in all cases. Some men enjoy taking advantage of simple and good women.
My ex always came to me whenever his plans failed because he knew I would always come to his rescue. I discovered he was emotionally unstable and needy and just needed me to always fill in the gap, I mean nothing ever gets done without me.
Little wonder it never worked out between us. Please, ladies, know where to bring in the balance, a man who loves you will ask for your opinion on issues and value those inputs. He may not always take your advice but he will show that he values them.
A relationship is meant to be a partnership. You should both invest and pour into each other’s goals, visions and see where you fit in each other’s lives. If he is in for the long haul, he will value your inputs and prove his love for you; a real part of the true signs he loves you.
7. He Will Want To Know You Better
One of the true signs he loves you is that he will be inquisitive and want to know more about you. Don’t get it twisted when he keeps asking questions. He is interested in knowing more about you. Knowing these details will help him get involved in everything that is going on in your life.
Even when he calls, he will want to know what went down during your time at work. He just wants details about the happenings around you.
8. He Will Remember Things You Have Shared With Him About Yourself
Imagine you have to ask your man about how old you are or some very important details of your life? A man who loves you will remember the details you have shared with him. He may not be able to repeat them word for word but he will remember the global message. A man in love will carry you in his heart and seeing people or even places will remind him of you.
I remember my man once walked in the company of people and immediately the fragrance worn by one of them reminded him of me because I use the same fragrance. Why is this so? It is so because long after you have left him, he is still brooding over the details you shared with him.
So when he thinks about you, he will keep remembering those details. The object of a man’s love is never forgotten, this is one of the true signs he loves you deeply. If you have to keep reminding your man of some vital details or keep going over certain events in your life that you have shared with him, then his eyes may be elsewhere.
9. He Verbalizes How He Feels About You
One of the true signs he loves you is that he will tell you how much he loves you, how he has been thinking about you, how he misses you and can’t wait to be with you. If he says any of the above but acts differently just know he isn’t real.
For example, if he stays for days without contacting you, disappears on you or always in a hurry to get off the phone or even leave when you are on a date together, then he may be lying to you even when he says he loves you.
Men communicate through actions more than words. I once dated a guy who was very busy at work but never ceased to reach out to me. Whenever he is off duty, he would spend the whole day with me and even help me with some difficult tasks.
He would ask by text message even when he’s at work what he can do for me? His philosophy in relationships was to give 100 percent when he had the opportunity to do so because every day will not always be the same.
10. He Will Make You A Priority
A man truly in love with a lady will make her a priority. When you two are together, he will focus on you and give you all of his attention. He won’t be nibbling with his phone or be restless. He will value every moment spent with you.
11. You Will Connect On A Deeper Level
By this I mean, he will be your best friend. You will share jokes, have pet names for each other, laugh out loud together. You will enjoy each other’s company. You will be real when you are together. He will seek opportunities to touch you respectably either by giving you a massage, rubbing your hair, having you rest on his shoulder or even playing fun games with you.
He will not want to miss every opportunity to get close and familiar with you. He will be happy being with you, even when you are together he will begin to make plans for your next outing and looking forward to being with you again.
12. He Will Be Trustworthy
One of the true signs he loves you is that he will be sincere and dependable. He will want to prove his honesty to you so you can trust him also. A dependable man is in for the long haul. He will not want to hurt you so he will be open to you.
Are there just 12 true signs he loves you? Definitely not, the list goes on. He will respect you, your boundaries and decisions, he will allow you to be your self, he will not make demands from you unnecessarily, he will want to see you do well too and be generous towards you. He will give you things and want to see you happy always.
Note that, you have to put all of the points stated in context, you don’t have to isolate them and feel that because your man just does one of them, it means he loves you, no, you have to be realistic and match them with the experiences you are having in your relationship to find out if he loves you or not.
Having written all these, the ball is in your court. I know your biological clock is ticking, I know your younger siblings are getting married and some have some really great men in their lives. Don’t be moved by that because it’s better you are happy in the long run than being unhappy for the rest of your life.
There is no joy in having to age or endure bad relationships. Even though we know love is not enough to make a relationship work, let’s be sure you have a mate that loves you and will do anything for you. Good men still exist and I pray you to find one. Like I always say, don’t settle for less, the best is meant for you.
Save this for later!