Relationships are wonderful, giving you passion, positive energy, and much love! Of course, to be in a loving and caring environment, you must find the right person. However, sometimes you may feel that things are moving too fast; you may feel the urge to slow down the relationship but don’t know how.
If you are in this situation, you don’t need to feel bad! It’s rational. Having a new partner can be exciting; the first dates are full of surprises, and all the activities seem fun and fascinating. However, if you don’t know your new partner well, you may easily be disappointed.
Being in an obsessed relationship can lead to massive heartbreak, and when things are moving fast, you can not set a stable basis! That’s why it’s better to take a step back and slow down your relationship! Give time and learn about your partner; check if he is the person you can live with! It’s the best way to avoid a heartbroken break-up!
Asking for time doesn’t mean you don’t like the person you are dating. Although, as a person is normal to ask for some time for yourself and relax. Finding the right balance will help your relationship to move forward in a healthier way. Every relationship moves at its own pace, so it’s up to you if you want to take it fast or slow! Discuss with your partner and determine which pace is the best for you.
Don’t worry if you want to slow down your relationship! We’ve got you covered! In this article, you will find a list of 14 ways to slow it down without hurting your partner.
14 Ways to Slow Down a Relationship
Slowing down a relationship is not that challenging! It’s a lot easier than you think. Sometimes your partner may want the same! Take it as a step not only to save your relationship but also to make it thrive!
1. Chat about it
A good conversation is always the best way to sort all your problems. Be honest and discuss your perspective. Why do you feel this way? Why do you want to take things slower? Does it bother you, or do you just need time for yourself?
Discussing can bring you closer; remember that you are a team, and you can beat all the difficulties together. Don’t hide the truth from your partner; be direct and honest! Lies can only bring you closer to a heartfelt break-up. Talking is always the first positive step toward changing a situation.
2. Assess your situation & circumstances
Understanding the situation is the first step to making your relationship better and more long-lasting. Before asking for the distance, you must understand why you need this distance. Is it because of personal issues, or is it because you can not find any commonplace with your partner?
Each situation is different. It’s better to end a toxic relationship than to give it time. Sometimes the issues can not be solved. Before moving to any action, you need to identify which part of your relationship you don’t like and why you need to take it slower.
Do you have loyalty issues? Are you afraid of planning a future with someone? Do you miss the sexual tension? You may also feel that your partner wants more of the physical part of your relationship, and you are not comfortable, and you need some time to understand if this is the case or not. Determine the issue and then decide if you need to slow down your relationship.
3. Give space and time
Giving space is the best way to slow down a relationship. Giving space will help your partner identify if you are a perfect match. If you are used to meeting every day, you will lose the romantic side of the dates and the anticipation.
Change your habits and meet once a week instead of every day. Plan surprising dates that will help your relationship thrive. Giving space will help evaluate the real goals of your relationship. It may seem hard to see your partner only a couple of times per month. However, it can only help your relationship.
Couples that are many years together used to take breaks to miss each other and kill the habit! Sometimes habits kill relationships! Give space, slow down the situation and be ready for a perfect future!
4. Group night outs
If you want to slow your relationship, you can allow other people to join you. Hanging out with friends helps as it will show you how to have fun like friends. Romantic relationships need communication, and hanging out with multiple people will help you create a stronger bonding.
Plan fewer individual dates with your partner and go out with groups of people. Find the fun part of hanging out with friends, dancing, and drinking again. Intimate dates sometimes are boring and kill the relationship. So, if you want to slow down your relationship, grab the opportunity and meet your friends.
Friends can also help you evaluate the situation. Watching you behave together will allow them to talk to you about all the weird things they see in you and your partner. A third eye is always the best to identify the real problem.
5. Stop spending time on social media with him
The best way to slow down your relationship is to stop the useless and constant communication. Social media are great and help a lot with relationships, but sometimes can become overwhelming.
Stop replying to all the texts and calls doesn’t mean that you are ignoring your partner; it means trying to find the balance between your personal life and your relationship.
Initially, it may seem challenging and stressful to stop the constant communication through DMs and Snapchat. However, when you get used to it will be happy with the outcome. Not having constant communication will also help you miss your partner. Missing is essential in a relationship! Don’t overdo it, though. Relationships need communication to work.
6. Give time to your personal habits
Giving time to your personal individual life not only will help you slow down your relationship, but it will also help you find yourself. Spending time doing what you love alone is important. Don’t waste all your energy on your partner.
Living only for your partner is the wrong thing. Remember that you are an individual with a different personality and needs. Try to fulfil your needs without your partner. Don’t be dependent. You can be severely hurt in the future if you allow your emotions and feelings to blind you.
If you have hobbies, find some time and go for them. Exercise, start reading again, or go hiking. Do everything that you like without your partner. Spending time alone will slow down your relationship and keep you healthy.
7. Avoid sleeping together
Sleeping together every night will lead your relationship to a whole different level. It may not seem much initially, but after becoming a habit, you will see that it will place your relationship in a more serious situation.
Doing many sleepovers is like evading your partner’s personal space, which can be overwhelming. Sleeping over will make you emotionally attached to your partner, and a breakup will hurt you. Don’t become a burden and try to live your life with your partner and individually.
8. Spend the weekend away
Getting away for the weekend can relax and help you evaluate all your life goals and plans. Try to find a weekend activity and let yourself free in nature. Find the space you need away from your partner without thinking about your relationship or your partner.
Don’t spend the weekend with someone you are already with all day together. Allow yourself sometimes without any problems or without any serious thoughts. Take a long road trip, go camping, visit a new town, go to your friends or even visit someone that you haven’t seen for a long time. Do something different in a different place.
Allow yourself to disappear from your everyday life and take from everything and everyone.
9. Don’t talk about the future
If you slow down your relationship, you need to stop planning for the future. Making plans for the future is like trying to build a serious relationship. If you feel you are moving too fast, then the worst thing you can do is make long-term plans.
Plans sometimes make you feel stressed! Think like you finished university and you need to find a new job! The same thing applies to relationships. Making plans for the future is like making plans for a family. Give time to your relationship. Before making plans, make sure your partner is the right person for you.
Sometimes relationships seem great, but when you try to take them seriously, you see things and habits that you haven’t noticed before. So, take your time!
10. Spend only a few hours together
Spending too much time together can be daunting. So, if you want to slow down your relationship, you must stop spending too much time with your partner. Don’t rush things when you are together; let it be natural! Spending fewer but funnier hours together is better than getting bored.
If you feel stressed that your relationship is moving faster than you want, you must stop spending too much time with your partner. Avoid getting used to doing everything together and let your relationship develop naturally. It may feel nice, but it may end badly if you don’t know him that well. It might be that you both feel extreme chemistry, or you live far away and need a lot of time together, but don’t let him suffocate you; you are still two different persons with individual lives.
11. Set expectations
If you feel that your relationship is moving too fast, you need to set your expectations and explain the situation that you are in. It needs two people to get serious; don’t let your partner drag you on a path you don’t like.
It’s like chatting through a dating app; the first thing that you’ll discuss is what you want! Do you want a serious relationship, or do you want to have fun? Be direct and set your expectations early. If you see that your partner is ready for the next step, you can easily say that you are not ready yet.
It’s normal to ask to take things slowly and let them naturally lead in one direction. Irrational thoughts and expectations don’t end up well. It’s better to be clear about your needs and check if you are still pacing together. Setting expectations is not only good for slowing down a relationship, but it also helps in identifying if you want the same things with your partner; are you on the same page, or is it better to move on and find your perfect match somewhere else?
12. Get out on real dates
Usually, when you are moving fast in a relationship, it means that you have already stopped being loving partners with fun and exciting dates. However, spending time together in the real world will help you know each other better and let your relationship move more naturally.
If you are staying at home too much, it looks like a married life; married life can be challenging, and you don’t want to get into it fast. Before creating a serious relationship, you need to know your partner well. Dates will help you meet your partner and know his desires and needs.
Try to arrange dates that you will both like. Don’t get into a routine, especially if you think you are moving more seriously. Take your time and live like you are on your first date!
13. Dive into work
Working is the best excuse to stop seeing your partner that much. Being busy won’t seem weird to him. Feel your calendar with different things and reduce your time with your partner.
Taking some new projects at work will also help you be more independent and boost your ego. Feeling productive can help you focus on yourself rather than anyone else. Of course, don’t become a workaholic just because you don’t want to see your partner. Using work is good only for spending time apart; if you don’t want to see him at all, then it’s better to break up and move to a new person with whom you will feel more comfortable.
14. Don’t organise big trips
Travelling together is fun and exciting, but it will grow your relationship and bring you closer. Of course, a long far distance trip will help you learn about your partner’s habits and life. You will learn how your partner packs his suitcase, what time he likes to have his breakfast, if he is willing to do new things, how he explores a new city, what he eats etc.
Even though it is good to learn about your partner, a big trip will get your relationship to a more serious level. But if you want to slow things down it’s better to reduce the time you spend together and not plan for any big getaway. Spending days with your partner is the opposite thing you should do if you want to slow down your relationship!
Think a lot before booking any tickets!
Final Lines on How to Slow Down a Relationship
Having strong feelings for someone is nice! You should enjoy spending time with your partner and start planning your life together. However, if your instinct says that your relationship is moving too fast, it is better to take it seriously and think about it. Identify the situation and discuss it with your partner. A serious conversation will ease the situation and help you understand your partner’s needs.
Nothing is more idealistic than rushing into a relationship, but unfortunately, it usually ends in a disaster. Giving space and slowing down a relationship can be precisely what you need to meet the right partner. The matchmaker and dating coach Lori Salkin said: “No matter what pace you’re set for, it is always a win-win strategy to start slow, especially in the beginning stages of a relationship”.
Rushing into things will destroy the solid foundations of your relationship. Push away all the confusion and allow yourself the time you need to identify if you are with the right person! Give time and space; it’s the best choice you can make! Don’t ever push yourself into a situation you don’t like, even if you have strong feelings about your partner. Put yourself first!
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