Let’s face it: dating has never been as easy as falling off a bike. Probably because a broken heart takes a lot more time to heal than a broken leg. Given the intimidating and complex nature of the dating rituals and people’s innate ability to learn from their own and other people’s mistakes, popular wisdom comes onto the stage. It provides a set of ‘unwritten dating rules’ that many people follow with the hope that they will increase their chances to turn into successful dating circuit performers. But what some people fail to understand is that, in this life, EVERYTHING EVOLVES. And that includes dating habits. In today’s article, we will look at 20 old-fashioned dating habits that no longer work miracles. Ready to trade old-school rules for modern ones?
Old-Fashioned Dating Habits
- It’s up to men to make the first move
Back in the old days, a woman who made the first move was perceived as desperate, needy, and even aggressive. Luckily, those days are gone! In the age of social media and dating apps, women have reclaimed their right to take control of their choices.
But, in the end, the worst thing that could happen is for them to get rejected. That’s nothing but an easy-to-remove stone in the shoe.
- Men must pay the bill
This ‘rule’ might have worked well when women weren’t allowed in the workforce. But, once again, those days are gone! Nowadays, women prefer to split the bill or even assume all the costs.
Our advice: don’t feel ashamed to talk to your date about it and reach an agreement that will make both of you feel comfortable.
- Women should play ‘hard to get’
According to popular belief, hiding your true feelings and acting distant will make you look more attractive. But what if your date loses interest or misreads signals? Is it worth taking risks?
- The man should pick up his date from her house
Waiting for your man to pick you up from your house is not only old-fashioned but also risky if you have met him on the Internet. Nowadays, people prefer to meet at public spaces such as a restaurant, a park, etc.
- You should give all your suitors a chance
“The Frog Prince” is nothing but a fairy tale. There is no need to date and kiss those frogs you have nothing in common with and don’t feel attracted to keep along with a popular belief.
- Men and women can’t be just friends
So you have had a date with someone, but you are not romantically interested in them. Should that be the end of your relationship even if you resonate as friends? Of course not! Men and women can be friends outside the romantic sphere.
- You shouldn’t kiss on your first date
Why is this on the list of old-fashioned dating habits? Yes, you can stop rolling your eyes! It’s nonsense. Kissing on the first date is the best way to gauge if there is chemistry between the two of you or not.
- The man should bring flowers to his date
Of course, chivalry will never be old-fashioned. And it’s always pleasant to be gifted flowers, especially on your first date. But you shouldn’t feel disappointed if your date doesn’t show up with flowers. That doesn’t mean he is less interested in you. It may only mean that we live in the era of emojis?!
- After the first date, it’s men who should reach out
And there was even more to the story: they had to wait for three days! There is nothing wrong with letting your date know that you had a great time and that you are thinking about them… even if you are a female or your date ended a couple of hours before. Once again, the worst thing that could happen is to get rejected. But the sooner you know where you stand, the better.
- Women must follow the men’s lead
From letting the man organize the date to waiting for him to decide the conversation topic, there was a popular belief that women should follow the man’s lead. There is nothing wrong with speaking up in your mind or express your preferences openly. In the end, we live in an era of equality.
- Meet the parents and get their approval before going out on a date
This ‘rule’ goes hand in hand with the ‘pick up your date at her house’. While it is true that this ‘rule’ should still be valid for teenagers, things are entirely different in the adult world. We can put this rule easily into the old-fashioned dating habits list.
Introducing your date to your parents is perceived as a straightforward way of saying, ‘My intentions are serious, and I see ourselves going far’. It’s a sort of commitment people are not up to on a first date.
- Dress up for the occasion
Of course, you need to follow the etiquette. For example, it would look weird to go to a luxurious restaurant wearing your favorite hoodie. But pretending to be someone you are not is not the best way to start a relationship.
- Keep the conversation airy and avoid heated topics
The purpose of a date is to get to know each other. Ideally, your date should like you for who you really are. So if, for instance, politics or religion are pivotal aspects of your life, don’t hesitate to open the topic. Why wait until the 3rd or 4th date to discover that your views will always be a source of tension?
Of course, there is no need to turn your date into a heated debate. Adopting a polite and open attitude is the safest bet, allowing you to determine if there is room for compromises or not.
- The woman should order little to no food, preferably a salad
There is nothing less romantic than a growling stomach. There is nothing wrong with showing your date that you want to live a healthy lifestyle.
But if you are hungry and literally dying for a bite from that juicy hamburger, give in to the temptation. After all, we all need food to survive, don’t we?
- It was the man who did the ordering
Back in the old days, the man was expected to talk to the waiter and do the ordering for both of them. There were actually high chances for the man to order without even consulting his date.
Since men were expected to plan the date and pay for the bill, it was only logical for them to do the ordering.
- Wait to get engaged or even married before moving in together
Gone are the days when moving in with your boyfriend/girlfriend went against moral standards. Living together before getting engaged is a great opportunity to see yourselves in a whole new light and figure out if your relationship is meant to last or not.
- Men are not supposed to show their sensitivity…
… let alone crying! This is nothing except an old sexist rule that, fortunately, is part of the past. There is nothing wrong with sharing a tear or two with your date when watching Titanic, isn’t that so?
- Don’t talk about kids (of course, if you have them)
Kids are a blessing, not a drawback. They are part of your life and define who you are. If you are a single parent, don’t hesitate to let your date know that you have kids.
There is no need to focus the whole conversation on them, but it is important not to hide their existence. After all, you come as an awesome pack.
- Don’t talk about your past relationships
Wise people say that you can’t understand what is happening today if you don’t understand what came before. And they are right. Talking about past relationships and the reasons why they ended can be constructive and informative.
However, it is advisable not to turn your date into an ‘Ex trash-talking’ session. Or show too much regret.
- You shouldn’t date someone who doesn’t fit your type
Casting someone into a ‘type’ can make you miss amazing opportunities. ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’. Does this saying ring a bell? Adopting an open attitude toward life – and especially love – may allow you to discover an ‘atypical someone’ worth holding onto.
Is there hope for ‘healthy’ dating?
Relationships are difficult enough without adding ‘rules’ to the mix. So, it is a relief that the abovementioned rules are nowadays part of the past. And there is no doubt that if we keep them there, our love lives will thrive!
We hope you liked the list of 20 old-fashioned dating habits and that you’ll come back for more love tips. See you!
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