The Lost Act Of Romantic Relationship: Making Relationship Work By Igniting Passion
Love is the foundation, but romance is the fine-looking structure
Love definitely makes the world go round, but it is the romance in love that makes the journey worthwhile. Generally, millions of people all over the world need love, but deep down we crave romance (just like you need healthy vegetables, but you crave chocolate). It is the romance in love that allows you to emphatically say “I am in love with you”, instead of merely, “I love you”.
Many relationships are hitting rock bottom today, and there is an urgent need to reignite passion and romance. Romance will blossom when you learn how to turn your relationship into a love affair. Why are so many marriages mediocre and boring? Not because they lack love, but because they lack romance.
Love is lukewarm, comfortable—while romance is hot, exciting! Everyone wants passion and romance in his or her life. Some people, including people who have been married for a long time, are uncertain about exactly how to create romance.
You won’t experience a strong, solid and electrifying romantic relationship if you are stuck in cultural stereotypes, you need to appreciate your partner as a unique and special individual. It is very easy to give up in the search for romance out of frustrations, or cynicism, or even a combination of both.
Romance, you see, is the expression of love. Romance brings love alive in the world. Without romance, love is a sweet but empty concept. Expressing love is our purpose as human beings. Therefore, anything that helps you achieve this purpose is a good thing, which is why we will be exploring ways on how to make a relationship strong.
Is Your Love Life Hanging By The Balance?
…Two people fell in love. Just like you. They did all the classic romantic things. But the passion faded after a few months. Is this inevitable?
How would you grade your relationship?
A = Passionate, exciting, loving, fulfilling; not perfect— but clearly excellent.
B = Very well, solid, better-than-most, consistent, improving.
C = Average, acceptable, status quo, okay—but static, ho-hum, sometimes boring.
D = Below average, unhappy, dismal; bad—but not hopeless.
F = Hopeless, depressing, dangerous; tried everything, it didn’t work.
Does your present relationship seem like work? Has the flame of desire that made it so sweet at the beginning missing now? You may be looking at your friend’s relationship, and it seems to be going great for them.
Then you start wondering if their relationship was a match made in heaven, while yours was orchestrated somewhere, you know less perfect. They just look great together. You see so much affection and care.
You are beginning to have sleepless nights as to what to do to turn up some magical moments in yours and are constantly searching on how to make a relationship strong.
Have you noticed recently that many relationships are breaking up? People are calling it quits, people are no longer interested in fighting for love, staying together is no longer working, and breaking up in the face of relationship challenges is now the norm and not the exception.
This “call quit now” attitude is stealing the happiness that comes from a romantic, and enduring relationships and ending years of friendships. Some relationships appear to be thriving outwardly but inwards they are separated and broken.
We live in the age of Instagram, so we pose for the cameras, smile to give the appearance that everything is intact, but things are not always what they seem to be. People don’t want to be responsible anymore, and the warm passion of love is absent.
Relationships keep falling apart daily, the desire to make it work is there in some cases but what to do to make it work seems burdensome. What are the things to do to make your relationship stronger?
You Can Still Make It Work: Facing The Reality Of Life
Now take a deep breath. Has your relationship hit the rocks? Do you feel like your relationship is lifeless and you relate more like associates than lovers? Perhaps, you two are good but you are looking for things to do to make your relationship stronger? You are on the right page. Before we delve right into how to make a relationship strong, there are few things you should settle in your mind.
Firstly, note that no two relationships are alike and because the strength or future of every friendship largely depends on how willing the couples are to make it work. So, take your eyes off your friends’ relationship. It’s okay to borrow a leaf or two but never fall into the trap of competition. Forget about the Joneses, they don’t have it all figured out too.
Be reminded also that a complete person will bring completeness and wholeness to the table. Look at relationships as you being a whole- half. This simply means you are complete in yourself but someone will need to amplify and complement you and vice versa.
While you are basking in the euphoria of being all loved up, remember that reality will always show up and then you two will be faced with money issues, loss of employment issues, having a new baby, finding a balance on how to get intimate and trust me, these could put a strain on what you share.
These things and more exist even in the happiest of relationships, it’s just that the couples have learned how to manage them. It all boils down to how issues are handled. Now, to the crux of the matter, how to make a relationship strong.
Couples should learn to strike a balance between having expectations and not having any at all. Sounds off right? But this is the starting point.
So many go into relationships hoping to experience what they see on social media in its exaggerated form, forgetting that it’s not real. There are plenty of people who live in fool’s paradise believing relationships are like a movie script, and things would turn up exactly as it has been portrayed in the movies.
Everyone goes into relationships with certain levels of expectations which are expected but expecting too much could be disappointing. It’s advisable not to come with the wrong set of expectations too.
For example, some go into relationships with the hope of going on vacations and dates constantly. Yes, this is possible but how feasible is it? A lot of planning has to be done and a lot needs to be put into consideration also.
Another set of people go into relationships expecting too much because they are dependent on their mate to fulfill them which is hardly ever possible. No one can make anyone fulfilled. Your mate only comes to amplify what is already in existence. Understanding this is a step in the direction of how to make a relationship strong.
On the extreme, some also go into relationships with no expectation at all which leaves them being beast of burdens. They take on too much in making the relationship work leaving their mate with little or nothing to do.
Healthy relationships are mutual, and each person handles a certain level of responsibility. There are certain situations where one party takes so much responsibility from domestic to parenting and even put their career on hold and a host of other duties but end up being cheated on or even divorced.
Loving and growing together should be easy even though we know it requires some work, it does not have to be burdensome. So, while we have expectations, let it be balanced. Be sure it is mutual. Yes, sacrifices will occur but don’t end up being a beast of burden.
In spite of all the projection by the media, no one person can meet all your needs that is why we are an extension of families and friends. Therefore, expecting too much from your partner will exert unnecessary pressure on your relationship, it will then build up pent up feelings, anger and disgust in your partner, and cause a rift between you two.
Work At Keeping Your Relationship Strong
Continuing on the journey of how to make a relationship strong, couples need to value each other. You are in a relationship now after trying to make it work severally with your ex.
You were attracted to your present mate for reasons you don’t even know, yet you found your significant half appealing and saw that you could make things work. You hit it off as friends, doing little stuff for each other as you deemed fit. Next, you found yourself falling in love.
You laughed at every joke even it was not funny. You played like kids, talked about almost everything. You never ran out of things to talk about. As days went by you began to look for ways to make your mate happy.
Then things began to heat up between you two and you are now in a serious relationship but you feel like the energy between you two is gone or because of the little fights and kicks, you seem to have forgotten all the good things you once admired and somehow only see what isn’t too good about them.
Most times, we keep frustrating those who genuinely care for us. At some point in time, if care is not taken, the affection they express willingly may disappear.
Unfortunately, we don’t listen when they mention how uncomfortable we make them feel sometimes because we think if they walk, many others will come chasing after us or other times we just feel if our partners are serious, they should withstand the discomfort. Like seriously? Little wonder break up rates are high these days as no-one wants to stay where they are not appreciated.
Learn to appreciate and value your mate. Give them first-class treatment always. Imagine the energy expended in doing the wrong thing.
Doing the right thing doesn’t require so much, lack of value and appreciation for your partner creates a crack which becomes a hole and creates a distance between you and your mate even if you live together. Valuing your spouse will endear them to you and make your bond stronger.
Learn to listen to your partner as you developed the habit of listening while having deep talks. One of the surest means of how to make a relationship strong is to talk with your mate.
It takes more than a person to love in a relationship. This means there has to be some level of talking and sharing to enable you to reach deeply into each other. It is at this point needs are expressed, understanding comes and it eliminates assumptions and presumptions. Once your mate acts in a particular manner you assume otherwise.
Talking helps you understand problems and gives you a peek preview into the level of relationship. It goes beyond just verbal exchange. It includes body language which some refer to as nonverbal cues like eye contact, slight touches, hugs, and even kisses. Doing this not only helps you get closer but helps in developing relationships.
Some couples understand the act of communication well even when the room is packed full of people, yet their cues are well understood only by them. This shows a great deal of connection between them. They have poured into and drank from each other.
Other times, when situations arise even in the absence of their mate, they know the reaction to expect because they have learned to communicate so well over time.
Some do not have time due to the nature of their jobs yet they found a meeting time to communicate. Guess when they do? During meal times. Mealtimes are fun times for them. They open up communication lines while they eat. They attest to enjoying each other’s company while they eat.
They do this bearing in mind that they are interested in how to make a relationship strong and they are making efforts at making it work by constantly working towards doing anything at developing relationships.
Talking also involves speaking when you should and not giving the silent treatment. It involves appreciating your spouse when they go out of their way to make you happy. This builds confidence in your mate and makes your relationship stronger.
Listening to your mate is one of the healthy relationship tips for couples. It is one great part of sharing. Everyone wants to be heard and it takes patience to do this.
It involves you fading to the background so that your mate can pour out and have a shoulder to lean on. Can you imagine that? Where you are not afraid to share anything because you trust the receiver to be patient with you and hear you out. That alone is enough to foster a strong relationship as it takes great care. This gives room for empathy too.
How Do You Relate With Your Mate?
Do you ask them to speak while you are looking into the papers or your phone? When we fail to listen to our mate, they could seek ears outside and I am sure you know what this means. Having a mate that listens is priceless and one will always go back and choose to remain with a listening mate.
Another key step on how to make a relationship strong is to invest in your mate. Caught you by surprise right there? Not just referring to money.
Sharing is a mark of love. Couples in healthy relationships always seek for ways to invest or share their treasures. It could be your time or even gifts.
Sharing gifts, the bond of love festers and fosters staying together. You can’t love without giving which in turn strengthens the relationship. One of the vital things to do to make your relationship stronger is to encourage and motivate each other.
The strength of a relationship is sometimes measured by the level of effort and investment that has been made over time by their mates. Once in a while, we need some cheering and motivation to hit the Mark in life.
There are moments of troubles that cannot be avoided and this is where encouragement from a mate comes in handy. How will you feel in your down moments when you are left alone?
One of the healthy relationship tips for couples is patience. Every relationship requires patience to stay strong. Take a look at yourself. I believe you have evolved greatly. Sometimes you could be a jerk yet you keep working at becoming a better version of you; the same way it is with your spouse. You can never be the same.
The only way to hold the fort is through patience, it does the trick in controlling raging situations that would have torn you apart. It comes in handy when emotions are heated up. There comes a time in a relationship when your mate snaps on your toes but patience helps you realize that great friends never say goodbye.
Being patient means you will not speak all the time. You will slow down, practice thinking before you speak and even delay gratification. This is how to make a relationship strong. By this time the actions of your mates won’t take you by surprise anymore.
Work At Building Trust
Talking of how to make a relationship strong cannot be achieved without building trust. It is often said that humans have a certain level of jealousy especially when it comes to the object of our affection. It becomes dangerous when you find yourself prying or being too nosy.
Trust is an essential tool for strengthening relationships. This means giving an allowance. It’s a product of genuine love. It involves not wanting to know everything so that the blocks of your relationships do not come crashing down.
Trust involves a whole lot of things but starts with you. How trustworthy are you? Can your mate have confidence in you? How would you treat a member of the opposite gender when your mate isn’t there? A relationship without trust is nothing but a game.
Turn Up The Heat In Your Bedroom
Want more tips on how to make a relationship strong? Work at meeting your spouse’s needs in bed. It doesn’t have to be by the number of acrobatic displays you showcase or how long you can last but being able to communicate and having your needs and that of your partner met.
The relationship secret that’s not a secret: Express your love in lots of little ways. Make a gesture that’s as big as your heart, Life is too short not to be romantic. Haven’t looked at some keys to a good relationship, what are you determined to do?
“True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart.” —Honore de Balza
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